My Pine Forest

I grew up in a small town in southeastern New Hampshire. That is where I developed my love for the outdoors. As there was not much to do, I (with my brothers and sisters…and friends) spent a lot of time exploring. I loved running around in the woods, playing in fields, climbing trees and just sitting and watching animals ‘doing their thing’ in the forest.

When I look back at my past, I will say that my fondest memory would be at the age of 9, at my grandmother’s house in Newcastle, ME.

She had a large house on a private road. The house sat on a cliff, overlooking the Atlantic and bordered on two sides by a forest of large pine trees. I did love sitting out in the yard, looking out over the beautiful beach and watching the waves crash on the rocks below. My siblings and I had a great time climbing up and down the 50 foot cliff and playing at ‘our beach.’ But most of all…when thinking about this time…I can…still to this day, close my eyes and transport myself back to the pine forest surrounding the house.
I inhale and can smell the soothing aroma of pine. I walk barefoot on the ‘featherbed’ of pine needles that line the floor of the forest. The gentle crackling of the dried needles beneath my bare feet send tingles up my spine. I lie down, feeling the softness of the forest floor. Looking up, the tall pines shelter me on all sides. Large pine cones are scattered, as if sprinkles on a cupcake. I could sit there for days, walking, sitting and staring at the glimpses of sky through the tall bushy trees, rolling around…getting the needles stuck in my clothing and in my big head of hair. It is pure delight.

My love for that little forest of mine was enhanced by the constant smell of salt in the gentle ocean breeze, along with the feeling of being completely safe and secure in ‘My Pine Forest.’

A Dump In The Ocean

Our little trip to the beach today was….very uneventful, in the way of Public Displays of Affection. We were only there for about 2 and a half hours, Insane Mama was ….Pre-MOON, everyone seemed a bit out of sorts (boogie boards, then swimming, then laying out, back to boards to collecting rock, looking for crabs…)

I was trying to sink my head into the new book that I’ve started when all of the sudden, strange, little, 9 year old Christie speeds past us. As we all sit up to see what in the hell she was doing, we (along with everybody at the beach) saw her tiny little figure running, at top speed, down the beach towards the water, WITH BOTH OF HER HANDS DOWN THE BACK OF HER BATHING SUIT! She jumped into the water and went out about 15 yards, squatted, wiggled around for about 30 seconds and then pranced back up the beach to where our blanket was. As she approached, I looked at Insane Mama, who’s mouth was gaping open and who had a very perplexed look on her face. We shrugged at one another. Then I shouted to Christie, “What the heck was that all about?” Christie looked at me, smiling and with her big eyes gleaming she said, “I had a bunch of sand in my tooshie…I had to in the water to take a quick dump.”

Insane Mama and I burst into laughter…and extreme disbelief …and were finally able to get out, “What did you say? What did you do in the water?”

Christie repeated (more slowly this time) in an irritated fashion (cuz obviously we do not listen to her,) “I, had, sand, in, my, butt, and, had, to, jump, in, for, a, dump.”

Again we rolled in laughter…or at least I did. Insane Mama looked concerned and then asked Christie if she meant “dip.”

Christie looked at her questioningly then smiled and said, “oh…..yeah a quick dip.”

We all laughed together and …well…at that point, I had enough of the …questionable, water…so we packed it in for the day.

I will tell you that amidst the PMS, grumpy 11 year olds and super hot sun….Christie’s little English language mix-up…made my day an amusing one!

A FINE-ASS Day At The Beach

We had yet another fine day at the beach with the kids. Both Insane Mama and I were a bit out of sorts this morning. She seemed to have a fairly short fuse and I just felt somewhat foul. None the less we packed up our beach cooler and headed off to the beach…just south of Venice beach. After getting there and lugging the blankets, boogie boards, towels and such down to “our spot” the kids took off into the water and Insane Mama and I broke out our books and got comfy.

It was a great day (not too hot nor too cold) and I was about 20 pages away from finishing the book I was reading. Mind you that this is a 240 page book that I started on June 20th 2007. It was a great book…but I have never been a “reader.” We continued like that….going back and fourth between our books and watching the kids try to surf on their boogie boards…for a while. Insane Mama was then suddenly jolted from her book by me jumping up and yelping, hopping around our blanket chanting, “I finished it! I’m done with my book!” She looked over at me, rolled her eyes, and said, “Great! Now what?” I looked at her with a puzzled stare and shrugged…but I was still smiling.

I rested my head and relaxed for a few minutes…then noticed that several more families and couples were infringing on “our beach.” The people watcher that I am…I sat up and …just watched. I love to sit and watch (mostly making fun of what people are wearing and all the crap that people tote to the beach.) Yesterday, we actually watched as a family unpacked two wagons full of “stuff” and then proceeded to blow up a pool. Yes…you heard me…the fools brought an inflatable pool to the freaking beach!

Anyway, as I was watching the folks around me…and I’d finished my book….I notice a few couples around us…snuggled up together, rubbing lotion on each other and just being cute with each other. Suddenly, I became aware of an increase in blood flowing to my …nether region. I looked down and watched as Insane Mama was laying on her stomach, reading her book. Panning down and letting my eyes rest on her cute-as-shit booooootay, I proceeded to slide my hand down the small of her back, across the back side of her bikini…resting it so that my fingers dangled down in just the right place. She gave me a courtesy moan and a wriggle of the rear as she continued with her book. I looked around and saw that from where other people were sitting…nobody would ever be able to see what we did.

Slowly, I began to curl and extend my fingers – just enough for them to lightly brush up against her…privates. She began to move with my hand for a minute and then rolled over onto her side. I removed my hand and stopped what I was doing. She looked at me with a look saying to me “what the F are you stopping for?” I looked at her and said…”just keep reading your book baby.” She quickly repositioned herself (exactly as she was) and I let my hand find its way back to “that good spot.” I kept rubbing and stroking (all of this ABOVE her bikini….NO nudity.) That continued for a few minutes until I knew that she was ….”happy.” after a moment…catching her breath, she rolled her head toward me and said, “Thank you mister!” with a large as life smile on her face. I think that the ocean, waves, being in public…all of it made things a bit exciting for her. She sat up, still smiling, and plopped her book on her lap. Smirks and giggles escaped as she tried to find where she left off in her book. Looking at her…I saw that she had found her place and sporting a content look, continued reading.

I don’t think that more than ten seconds went by before I interrupted her…
Me – Hello?
IM – Yeah baby? (smiling)
Me – Um…are you forgetting someone?
IM – What?
Me – What about me?

Then I felt her hand move down to my board shorts as she looked over both shoulders, making sure we were not being watched. I was lying down on my side and she was sitting, leaning her back against my thighs. She continued stroking me, then I felt a tug at the drawstring of my shorts…giving her a bit more access. Needless to say, within a few minutes (and most likely and arm strain)…we felt the need to put our beach blanket and my shorts directly into the wash when we got home.

The next hour or so that we were at the beach…although it was a bit overcast…it seemed sunnier and much more beautiful out there…in “our spot.” Our moods had most definitely improved since morning.