3 Fucking Years!!!!!!

You ever have something that you really want to do (for many reasons) and you just can’t seem to get it done…no matter how hard you try?

Well that is MY LIFE!

As you all know…I married the wrong bitch-ass, cunt, troll, psycho person the first time around. We separated in September of 2005 and the divorce proceedings started shortly afterward.

Now…3 FUCKING YEARS LATER…I still can’t seem to get the freakin troll off my back!

I love my two young boys (who live with their motherfucker) to death…but I want the legal issues to be finalized so that there is no more back and forth and we can all move on.
I fell in love with Mariah (Insane Mama) and her kids…I want to marry her, but I can’t until my divorce is finalized.
I want to be able to get along ok with mongoloid cunt…but she is a nasty, backstabbing piece of shit…and I have to say that I’ve had some pretty evil thoughts about her…and her well being…and continue to find myself smiling after each thought.

How can a divorce case last more than 3 years when there is no fight over money or property? Well…let me tell you:

She has ‘changed’ lawyers 4 times…each time the new one would be granted a continuance.
She has come to every court appearance with long lists of accusations, which the judge (by law) has to examine.
She makes a point to state at every opportunity that she will not agree to, but is willing to ‘discuss’ overnight visits down the road…knowing that that is what I want…so we have to go back to court and fight again.

On another note….but about as frustrating…I had this throat problem since last December, where I irritatingly clear my throat every 5 minutes or so…EVERY DAY!!! At first I thought that I was just a bit sick, then tried some random over the counter meds that by reading them I thought might work. Then I went to see my Dr. who told me that it must be an allergy….although the allergist and blood work up that I had done said that I am not allergic to anything. My doc put me on Zyrtec D and the shit stopped…after about 2 weeks…but in the meantime…I got a cold and now, although not clearing my throat…I can’t get rid of my hacking cough. Just another thing that I just can’t seem to have ‘closure’ with.

TALK ABOUT PEEING IN THE WIND!

I wish I were a Jason Bourne-like sniper

As my first ‘Private’ post, I thought it proper of me to offer up some sort of explanation as to my desire to pee a bit more stealthily.

WARNING: This post WILL contain VULGAR language and TRAMATIC imagery.

As many of you know, I took my blog ‘private’ because my (soon to be) ex wife and her friends have been reading it…and using much of what I write against me.

I will give you all a bit of background and will do my best to get you up to date on where things stand as of today.

About 4 years ago, I realized that the woman that I fell in love with 18 years ago…was not the same woman that I married…actually, she was not a woman at all (not the way some of you sick, twisted fuckers are thinking) she was actually a psychotic, self-centered, fake-as-shit, fat, ugly, deceitful, non-sexual, nasty, egotistical, loud-mouth, fucking bitch of a person…but she IS…my baby’s mama. Even to this day...every time see or talk to her...it takes every inch of my will power not to vomit or poke her eyes out, knock her down and piss all over her.

It was September of 2005 when I finally had had enough of her and all of the shit that she dished out to me. Leaving was a very hard decision. I had two small boys, 4 and 1 1/2 , I knew though, that staying would be misery for us all.

The divorce proceedings began in December of 2005 and are STILL looming over my head. I am here, lingering in some divorce court limbo with that demon I was married to jabbing me in the face with her pitchfork at every opportunity.

Now, I understand her being upset with me…and I understand her general dislike for Insane Mama, but her tactics are so out of control that …. Well, let’s just say that I’ve had dreams that include; blood, severed body parts, ripped out intestines, wild animal attacks…well…I guess you know what I am getting at.

I will just name a few of the things that CUNT has done in her attempts to attack both Insane Mama and myself:
1. Refused to let me see or talk to my boys for almost a year
2. Insisted, in court, that a professional monitor must accompany me on all visits with the boys
3. Accused me of being an uncontrollable drug addict
4. Filed (and received) a restraining order against Insane Mama (provided fraudulent documents in court)
5. Changed lawyers every 6 months (for 3 years now) to slow the whole court process down
6. Schedules family trips and doctor appointments on my visitation days and does not offer opportunity for me to make up the visits
6.When I call the boys (every night) she puts the phone on speaker and monitors every word
7. Tells the boys to say things to me on the phone when we talk (i.e. “mommy wanted me to tell you about my play again…she said that maybe your were drunk or something and forgot.”
8. Is accusing me in court of neglect because my 7 year old got a scratch on his knee
9. Spends her free time trolling my and Insane Mama’s blogs for content that she thinks she can use in court against me
10. Published a whole blog to trash me and disparage my blog and my name
11. Continually threatens to call CPS on Insane Mama

12. Emails me stating how fucked up Insane Mama and her kids are...that they are nasty, white trash, uneducated losers.

Well…the list goes on…but I will spare you the additional 1,000 words.

Please catch up with: the backstory...an the backstory 2

Now...Everyone sing with me

(in the tune of the old Oscar Meyer commercials)

"Oh, I wish I were a Jason Bourne-like sniper...I'd be rid of nasty bitch, and finally free.

There's nothing she could do to make me like her...All I want to do is vomit and pee!"

As this story has...a lot of…substance…I will have to say that this post is…
TO BE CONTINUED…

I Jerked Off My Stomach….in the middle of the park

My history with my adoptive father is one that I will say I do not wish on anyone. He and my adoptive mother were divorced when I was very young and I mostly spent summers with him. At the time, everything was great. My brothers and sisters and I were pretty much free to do as we wanted while with him. It was fun to not have a parent telling us what we could or could not do.

There were a lot of things that went on over the years that (as I got older) put a wedge between us. At the age of 21, I was going through a rough time with regard to him (not calling, visiting, writing, sending birthday or holiday gifts, etc.)

To me, he was not a father, and never had been. I saw him as a guy that used to be married to my mother, never offered advice, did not spend much time ensuring that we (the kids) were safe and was only available…some of the time. Oh…did I mention that he was the first person to give me both beer and pot?... When I was about 8 years old? At first he said that he wanted me to try it so that I knew how bad it was and then would not want it later. He later said that he really just wanted to see what we (my younger sister and I) would do. It was hard for me…to not respect him as my father. I wanted to respect him…but could not.

At that point I decided to call him to discus my feelings. On the phone, I told him how I felt and that I needed him to tell me what role in my life he would like to be. If he wanted to be my father…he’d have to call more than once a year. If he just wanted to be in my life here and there…just let me know and that would be all that I would expect from him. He told me that he wanted to be in my life…as my father. I was elated. That is that answer that I wanted, so desperately to hear. I told him that we could start with phone calls once a month. I’d call him…the next month he would call me. Even if it was just to say “Hi” and that things are going well.

I did not hear from him for 9 months after that.

From that point on…I see him as the guy that used to be my father and was now going to get in touch every year or so. I don’t ever expect to hear from him…or even look forward to it. I have been hurt by him not following through with plans to visit way too many times. I suppose that being an adopted child…this transition and feeling of abandonment was somewhat easier for me to deal with.

THAT BEING SAID…

I have gotten a few calls and emails from him over the last few days, that I have not answered. He left messages about plans to fly out for the holidays for a visit. I heard that both six and nine months ago…no visits. Today I picked up the phone when I saw his number (wanting the calls to stop.) He told me of his travel plans and I, not wanting to commit to anything, told him that I did not know if we’d be around…we may be going out of state.

Then the conversation turned to my two sons. As you know I and my ex-wife are not on the best terms (although things seem to be getting much better.) He said that he wanted to see them and that he missed them, etc. I can understand that and would have no problem with all of us getting together for a visit.

So there I am, at the park with Insane Mama’s 9 year old and a friend. I’m laying on the grass while on the phone. Insane Mama was sitting next to me, watching as I made faces into the phone and rolling my eyes (why is he calling to make plans that he knows he will not follow through on?)

Anyway, All of the sudden (Punk Dad – PD) spouts out…
PD – “This whole visitation thing is ridiculous. I am there grandfather and I deserve to see them. I want to be a good grandfather to them and be in their lives.”

What the FUCK?!?!?!?!

I instantly dry heaved and thought that I was going to puke all over some poor little kid walking by. I’m actually not sure what I said to him at that point. My mouth was gaping open, my eyes were definitely screaming “Your stupid dumb mother fucker!!!!” and all I could do was …jack off my stomach. (I made “the motion” over my stomach…so that Insane Mama knew what I meant…but kids passing by would not.

Insane Mama burst into laughter and had to step away. After finishing the phone conversation with dickhead…(he has no consistent name around here.) I called IM over to fill her in…who the hell is he to say that he deserves to be in their lives? That he wants to be a good grandfather to them? He could not even be a father to me. Now he thinks he DESERVES to be in their lives. FUCK THAT!

We had a good laugh and then I bad mouthed him a bit more and, well…that was about it…well, that and a little PDA between …consenting adults.