Fake Fuckers, Exes and the Internet

I will start by throwing out a quick question….
Why the fuck has Blogging and Twitter become so cliquey?

I think it is stupid that people’s circles tend to grow by the number of noses that they can fit up their asses and how many bung holes they themselves can snuggle with.

I started blogging and using Twitter as they were good tools for throwing out your honest thoughts and feelings. I no longer feel this way. I am seeing all of these little cliques of people pretending to be people that they are not…gravitating towards the folks that have a bit of a following already. It is like being in high school all over again.

The fact that people can’t be comfortable just being themselves is beyond me. As you may have noticed, I have not posted anything in a while, have not been commenting and Twittering has been less frequent. I am about at a loss of words.

My ex Twitters and blogs and has seemingly gathered a little, mentally challenged, group of folks that she has convinced that I am some kind of devil and now these people follow my blogs and tweets as well as everything that Mariah writes.

Yes, I know…this post is morphing…but not that much off point.

Anyway, this woman, my ex, is soooooo not the person that she leads you to believe. (I will distribute email addresses for a handful of folks that know her quite well that can tell you ….if you are interested) She has sole legal and physical custody of my boys , yet has been evicted from 4 houses in 5 years for not paying rent. She has been booted from several banks for being fraudulent, has had my boys switch schools cuz she does not pay the tuition, etc, etc.

I’d be fine with her doing whatever she wants but now I am having my boys complain to me about having to live with their friends …and having to move…AGAIN.

She and her lawyers (who she is on number 4 now…yes…unpaid bills) have done a pretty good job convincing the judge that I am not a capable father(…yet am side by side with Mariah, raising her 4 children) and a drug addict (yet I’ve passed every urine and hair follicle test thrown at me.

I don’t know…this whole thing is making me sick and I wish people could just be real, say what is on their mind and not worry so much about what the fuck other people think about them.

People who are friends with my ex….unfollow me and and Mariah and mind your fucking business! You don’t know us and have never met us...(with the exception of one back-stabbing fucker...who knows who he is.)

Those of you who just need to belong to a popular clique…I hope you grow up…for your families’ sake.

Guess that is enough for now…

I will undoubtedly lose some followers from this one!!!! I could care less.

AND IT TOOK LESS THAN AN HOUR TO GET THESE TWO EMAILS FROM THE TIME i POSTED THIS...

You lying son of a bitch. I've switched schools bc of tuition!? Our sons were in PUBLIC school and I switched them to private. I've been evicted 5 times? You're a lying sob and I'm filing for a restraining order as (My lawyer) already said I should. Especially since I've been told you said you'd commit homicide if you were here. I think that's the 3rd time you've said that? (And yes, people got screen shots before you deleted that tweet)

You don't know the truth but are lying about me. Yet you have no job, fraudulently claim the kids on your taxes, neglect the kids. You are in for the biggest shitstorm of your life. You owe me tens of thousands in child support, our children witness prostitutes with you, you don't properly care for our kids, I could go on. I have kept quiet for the sake of (The Boys), but since you don't care about them, I guess it is time to stoop to your level. I didn't before but I'm done.

And then you attack Jim? He knows who you are. He's a real man. He is an amazing dad. You are a pathetic, lazy, drug addict, liar who would rather focus on me because that's easier than looking at your own flaws.

Real smart to do this right before we're headed to court and I've gotten an earful from some of your "friends" already in Chicago.

Off to mingle with more of your 'friends'

…

And then…

Oh - and about the address. Mail any supposed check to (My Lawyer’s) office. We're telling the court about your recent actions including helping someone who has been stalking us and threatening homicide yourself, so in addition to a restraining order we are seeking to limit your visitation and prevent you from knowing where I live.

Please do not email me anymore. All communication needs to go through my lawyer (and no, he's not my 4th lawyer), since you are harassing me.

‘Normal’ childhood? - Part Three - The Bat and the Broom

Be sure to read part one and part two before this one

At the ripe age of about 9, and after causing some sort of stink at the dinner table, I was sent to my room while everyone else finished their dinner and had their ice cream.

Now, we lived in an old Victorian house and my room, the one that I shared with B1 was on the top floor …the converted attic.

Sitting up there sulking on the edge of my bed, wondering if I could coerce B2 to sneak me up some ice cream after dinner, I was startled by a freaking bird flying right through my open window. As it zipped back and forth around my room, spinning in circles, seemingly very disoriented, this ‘bird’ swooped down and got its feet caught in my hair.

Pause for image of said hair. (and maybe a bit of laughter)

Completely freaking out, running in circles, yelling for my mother and flinging my arms up to try to dislodge this hair intruder….I hear my mother yelling up the stairs, “I told you to be quiet up there…or you’ll stay up there all night!”

Continuing my cries for help, my mother stormed her way up to my room, cursing me enough so that I did not know who to be more scared of…this beast clawing at my head…or the one about to bust through my bedroom door with a belt.

A second later my mother burst though my door, with belt in hand and a lung full of air to scream at me. Upon seeing the flapping, tangled mess that was once my head, she screamed, “BAT!” and swiftly ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Shocked that A. It was a bat in my hair and not a bird…and B. that my mother would run out and just leave me there. I continued screaming and running around the room. A minute or so later she barged back into my room…armed with a broom. She march straight at me and began bashing me on the head with the broom…worried more so about hitting the bat than the structural integrity of my cranium. Once she successfully knocked the bat loose from my hair she dragged my whimpering body out of the room (as if I were a wounded soldier being saved by a war hero) and slammed the door once again.

After pleading with the man that lived next door, the bat was evicted from my room. The story ends with a haircut appointment for me early the next morning.

As the stories are seemingly endless…I’ll continue with another next time – Military Training

Do adults with children have friends?

I don’t know if I just have this whole adult/parent thing all jumbled up in my head…or if what this post is gong to (hopefully) be about is legitimate.

I’ve had conversations with Mariah before about this but it seems that I never really have my thoughts straight. I am talking about having friends. Do adults with children have friends? Are said parents just friends with whoever their kids’ friends’ parents are?

I don’t know if parents are supposed to have friends, in the same manner that they did before having kids. If they are, do they go out for a drink or to catch a movie with said friends? Or do they just sit and socialize while their respective kids are having ‘play dates?’

I know that as an adult and as a parent, that the mundane things like working, feeding, clothing and caring for your children top the priority list, but I still can’t help feeling friendless. There are a few guys (yes…they are parents of some of our kids’ friends) that I like and love to ‘hang’ with. But with all of our personal and kids’ schedules all it ever seems to be is 15 minutes of shooting the shit while picking up or dropping off a kid. Is that they way it is supposed to be? Am I diluted to think that more is to be expected?

I suppose that it is not that big of a deal right now due to the fact that I do not have the time in the evening…or the money to go grab a few beers and catch a movie with my dad friends…but if I did…is that what people do?

A few months ago I tried to set up a guys’ poker night at my house. I wanted to start with a few guys once a month. After emailing 7 neighborhood dads…I got one that said he could do it…not the makings of a good poker night. I guess I just need to admit defeat and disregard my thoughts of having friends outside of our kids’ world.

No matter how many times I tell the kids, “It is not all about you!” I am the one that is full of shit. It IS all about the kids. I guess I am answering my own original question here and now am starting to understand that whole mid-life-crisis thing. Suck it up, do the kid thing and then once the kids are out of the house and off in the world making their marks…that is when we (parents) begin to reclaim our lives and try to pick up where we left off (before kids.)

Don’t get me wrong…I love the kids and love doing everything that I can to make them happy and loved. This has just been one of those nagging things bouncing around in the back of my skull for a while. …I guess I have rambled enough about this and if it made no sense to you…..whatever…I feel better just getting it out.

You know me….just peeing in the wind!!!!

A step parent needs your HELP

I don’t know how many of you have step kids, but I think I have dug myself into quite the hole around here.

I bitch and moan that I want the kids to look at me as a parent / equal to their mother (obviously not counting the ‘I came out of her vagina bond’ thing) But I want them to come to me with problems, to ask permission for things, for a kiss goodnight, etc.

I have not pushed the goodnight kisses, hugs whenever, etc…so now I feel kind of uncomfortable/scared hugging or kissing the girls. Are they going to think that I am being inappropriate? Will they wonder why the big change? Will they start thinking about why I have not been doing it all along?

I love Mariah’s kids as I do my own and would do anything for them. The one thing I fear is doing something that would make one (or all) of them pull away from me.

I just don’t know what to do. Start doing it religiously from now on. Continue the way that I have been and gradually begin to do it more and more. I am at a loss.

What Is A Dad To Do?

Is it just me or does the way that people dress really get under your skin too? I was going to write this post as after seeing some freakingly jacked up outfits…on grown women today.

I don’t understand it. Do people not own mirrors? Are they so stupid that they honestly think that wearing shit that makes people stare…is going to make them some sort of trend setter or fashion guru? I guess part of it is where I live, but I can honestly tell you that I feel the vomit lurching its way up into the back of my mouth just from driving down the street.

My subject today will be the fashion of today’s teenager. FUCK, SHIT, ASS, PUKE…fuck…I just peed on myself.

First of all, when it comes to boys, I can’t stand sagging! It is the stupidest thing that I’ve ever seen. And what the fuck is with boys wearing skinny jeans? Are they trying to look like girls? Do they want to carry a purse?....cuz there is no freaking way they can get shit into any of the pockets of those ridiculous creations….even if they got some change in the pocket…they’d have to strip down to pull anything out.

Now…Girls…WTF? Are girls everywhere dressing like they do here?
Ugg boots
Short shorts (so short that if they don’t continually pull at the leg holes…their privates start finding their freedom.)
Tight, open top shirts that show their belly piercings while molding around their developing breasts.

Now in these outfits; they cannot jump, run, squat, climb stairs or sit down…without all of their ‘junk’ waving to the world…in all of its teenybopper glory.
Not to mention the fucking glitter!!!! Damn…I just puked on my desk.

I would not mind if it were just a few random sluts…whatever…but it is EVERYFUCKINGONE! Girls with serious boyfriends, the jocks, the loners, even the freakin preacher’s daughters.

Then…they walk down the street, prancing like flock (?) of fucking gazelle…and get pissed when all of the teen boys stare and gesture for their attention.

Yes…It gets worse. I, as a (Hot Dad) father of a teenage girl, have to walk like the new guy in prison…or a white boy with a fancy car in the middle of South Central. I see the way that people look at her, old men, young boys, even the disapproving looks from women. At any minute I feel that I might have to throw down with random strangers.

I HATE the way she/they dress and I know her…not a slut, has a serious boyfriend, responsible, good student, respectful and respected…but this new found fashion for these girls makes me ill. Why do it? There is no need for it. I have throw away clothing that I could no longer stomach…but it was soon replaced by something worse.

And they get it from impecable role models...like ...

Barring hiring a security guard to walk with her at all times…or forcing her to wear overalls everyday…what is a dad to do?

HELP ME!!!!!!!

Notes From The Planet EX

The following is a sampling of some of the recent emails that I’ve gotten from the EX.
I am convinced that she is COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL...what do you think?


Chris,

We already know how it will go based on past experience and I know what is best for my boys who I am with everyday. I am the one that has to deal with them not getting up for school and being cranky the next AM.
I was hoping you would finally work with me but if I have to go to court to have visitation amended, I will since you are being unreasonable and unwilling to make a small change that is in the boys best interest. I'm sure the judge will agree as usual. .

But I guess I shouldn't expect cooperation from people who let 11 year olds operate motor craft and don't call 911 when someone overdoses to protect them from CPS. I suppose its my obligation to report such issues and concerns too. Good thing I grabbed screen shots about the not calling 911 and fear of CPS before that was removed.

I owe my lawyer $20000 thanks to having to go to court with your unfit self, so I had to cut him loose. I can't afford his bills when I am raising the boys. But he will finish the work he was retained for and he referred me to another great but more affordable lawyer to take over from here.
-----

Hi -

I know we agreed to 930a - 530p this Sunday but is there any way you can come earlier just this Sunday? You can still bring them back @ 530p but my plans got moved around a bit so it would make a huge difference if you could help me out by picking them up as early as possible.

I know you're probably not inclined to help me, but perhaps we can finally put all the craziness aside and this could be a first step in trying to help each other instead of working against each other? My friend, Kim, who you met at Jack's school has such a good relationship with he ex-husband (and his new wife) despite some very similar issues they went through, and I'd like for us all to get in a similar place someday and just put the past aside. I think I finally see that you have the boys' best interests at heart and wouldn't do anything to hurt/damage them, and I'd just like to move forward. All this drama is exhausting.

Let me know what you think.
-----

I know you emailed Jim too.

And I'm sorry that it is sad for you, I really am, but these are people that are VERY ACTIVE -- as in almost daily -- in our lives. We go on vacations with Jim and his family, he's like an uncle to the boys and has become like my brother over the past few years. He has really been there for us. And you know already that Linda and I are very close.

I will leave it up to them but I just think its very hard. -- especially because these two men are so close to me.

I too am happy that we seem to be getting along better and I hope we can keep it that way, but Eric and Jim have been huge parts of my support system during the very bad times and I think that it will be very hard to maintain active friendships.

I really don't want you to think I'm being intentionally mean, territorial or anything. I also don't want to speak for them...I just wanted to relay that Jim and Eric and very important people in our lives and it will be very weird -- for all -- to try to reconstruct what you had with them before.
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Jaden's camp counselor just told me that he said something about going to the beach with you and the waves had carried him far off to the side and he couldn't see you (? Not sure exactly what he means) and he couldn't see you. Apparently she asked who was with him and he said no one, that the adults weren't in the water.

I haven't talked to Jaden yet, but the boys have just learned how to swim literally this summer and don't go to the beach often, so I would feel much more comfortable if you could stay close to them if possible. We also know someone whose 6 year old just died a couple of months ago (drowned in a pool and his parents were literally right there...and he could swim -- it was because of it that I pit the boys in a 10 day intensive swim class) so I'm extra sensitive about it.
-----

I know…he has been lying a lot about little things and it has been going on for some time. I address it with him and his therapist has been working on it. And, yes, he has a lot of anger and jealously about Mariah and her kids that he hasn’t told me about but that does come up with his therapist. She has been working with him on it. But, I really don’t think he would steal anything…maybe intentionally hide it.

I also recently started seeing someone pretty seriously who he’s not happy about either. He has been acting out more again and we think it’s about that, even though he hasn’t met him yet but he knows of him. I was actually supposed to go away with him this weekend but cancelled my trip because Jaden was so unhappy / acting out. His behavior has been a problem and we’re working hard on it. I think it really is just a product of everything that has gone on…Jack was so young but Jaden had to deal with a lot.

Anyway, we’re working on it and I will let you know if I can find out anything about the iPod.
-----

I’m still so pissed off about this. Jaden says he didn’t touch it and I believe him. YOU, as his FATHER, should believe him. He admitted to scribbling on Megan’s book. He told me about it too. He is angry and he is a CHILD. He acts out. The fact that you are accusing him of doing something to someone in your new family without being sensitive to the child that put up with so much trauma because of YOU and because of MARIAH and that you are sticking up for those kids and throwing yours under a bus is so sad.

I have been trying to take the high road lately and brush all the crap that has gone on, the crap that I read about that makes me want to keep my boys far away from you and Mariah, the crap that others tell me, the fact that you don’t support your own children and all you get $10,000 checks for doing nothing from Mariah’s family while I work my tail off to support the kids you also brought into this world… I have been trying to forget all that just to civil for the sake of Jaden and Jack.

But this really pushed me over the edge. That, combined with Mariah’s evil comments about MY CHILDREN.
-----

Things were going well
...and then you and Mariah decided to accuse Jaden of something he didn’t do. And now posting half-truths about me on her blog. Why did I send you the emails I did? Because I am defending MY AMAZING SON that you and she judged.

Everything was FINE until you guys accused Jaden of stealing and then MARIAH posted about Jaden on Twitter. Even if it’s gone now, I saw it and grabbed a screenshot and it was WRONG.YOU and MARIAH are the ones that decided to get nasty – not with me, but with MY SON.

This isn’t about me – I don’t care WHAT you think about me. And, all of the friends you miss so much want nothing to do with you – they are still my friends…even “RM, the actor” – he didn’t get famous and fall out of the circle, he was also disgusted by you.

The reason I am mad is because you turned on your OWN SON and Mariah, who has NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT JADEN decided to get nasty about him.

And boy, was that a mistake because I am about to use every freaking bit of ammunition I have been holding back in court again. I will NOT have my boys around people like her who don’t treat them the way they should be treated. If my boyfriend treated the boys badly or said evil things about them, you wouldn’t be happy either. Of course, I would never be with someone like that.
-----

In the morning.

I would have Mariah quit bad mouthing me on Twitter and talking about something she doesn’t know about. Isn’t it bad enough that your son hates you? Bad mouthing their mother isn’t going to help.
-----

We have a conflict on 9/21 so unfortunately you will have to miss the visit that day.

Also - we will need to go back to court to discuss visitation in light of some serious issues that have been brought up - including that Jaden was injured at your home on his last visit because you allowed him and Jack to jump out of a window multiple times, my concerns about your drinking as well as the stability of the others in your household and their influence on Jaden and Jack.

You will receive notice of the court date via mail.
-----

MY LAST EMAIL TO HER SAID THAT I DO NOT WANT HER TO EMAIL ME ANYMORE.

I can not deal with her BS anymore!

Tropical Storm In My Coochie

OK….Fuck it….I’m just going to get it out in the open.

Maybe it is the overcast day, maybe I am the first guy to get his ‘period’, maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed…but I am a bit …ruffled.

I will begin by saying that I blog for personal therapy, to share my life experiences and to get honest feedback from people about what I go through and what I’ve been through. I am typically not a “hater” and am not very concerned with my blog numbers. What I do care about is the blogging community’s etiquette and bloggers’ respect for each other.

Now I may make some enemies here and, as stated above…I could really NOT give a shit.

Where do I start? I am fairly new to blogging…I started blogging in July and this will be my 103 post. I do my best at networking to find a group of people who like to read what I write…and who I enjoy reading. Not that we need to like everything that each of us writes…but enough so that we visit each other’s blogs and comment on a regular basis.

As far as I am concerned, I do not think that just because I like you…or I have linked to you…that means you need to like me. BUT, out of respect, thanks, etiquette…or whatever…if I visit, read and comment on your blog every day…don’t you think that maybe you could swing by once in a while to leave a “thanks for the visits” comment…just for the sake of it? I am getting really turned off by the people who don’t do that…or can’t find the time to pull their heads out of Dooce’s vagina to drop a thank you to their loyal readers. That makes me think a few things: 1. That they are pompous ass holes that care nothing about their readers…only their numbers. 2. That what they write is over-prepared and lacking in the “this is me” arena. 3. That they are too wrapped up in themselves to remember what being polite means.

I don’t really mean to point fingers here, and I know that the blog/person that I am about to mention is not the only one…but it is one that I have had this very experience with.

OK…To set this up properly, the thing that gets to me is when you read and post on someone and they read and post on your blog…on a regular/daily basis…and then their comments stop while yours continue. Now I know that people loose readers all the time, but in cases like these, it feels more like some of these bloggers think that they’ve risen above the rest of us…that their ‘blogshit’ doesn’t stink and that they are too good for the regular folks. Topping that off, when I see posts on their blogs about their blogging powers, boasting about the number of readers that they have, making a run for the super-popular bloggers and writing made up, fantasy-esc stories about their families (when they claim that their blog is about them and their life)…I feel like kicking them …right in their Analytics!

Yes…I am speaking of Black Hockey Jesus – the guy with Hot Air In HIS Vagina. I have had him on my blogroll for 3 months. I, from the start commented daily. He did the same. I got comments from him on a regular basis. NOW…he has not left a comment since he went on his crusade to ‘beat’ Dooce. I continued reading him and …he is still on my blogroll. I hope that he comes back down to earth. I love his writing and think that he is funny as shit…but He is showing his uncaring, pompous, arrogant side these days. His blogroll only consists of people that get in excess of like 1,000 visits a day and those seem to be the only people that he comments on. Now, with the 30+ comments that he’s gotten so far on the post he put up today…my guess is that about 5 will receive comments from him. That is kind of FUCKED!!!!

Why did he stop commenting on my blog? Have I change my writing style or what I write about lately? NO! Did I bash him or stop reading or commenting on his site? NO! What is it? From what I can piece together…it is solely that his comments on my site will not bring him any new or additional traffic. That is fucked and I hope that when he reads this he can at least take a minute to understand where I am coming from …and maybe leave a comment to tell me why he no longer reads/comments on my blog.

Phew…… Glad I got that off my chest.

Again…he is NOT the only one. There are many mommy and daddy bloggers who are doing the same exact thing…I just saw it most clearly with him.


Shit….I hope he does not track me down and … challenge me to a trampoline contest…or …talk shit to the dead about me.

You all have any thoughts on this subject?

Camping At The Gate

So, today is the first day of school for our kids. We have one in Kindergarten, one in Second, one in Fourth, one in Sixth, one in Eighth and one a Junior in High School. Yes…we have our hands full. Between the afterschool sports, Swimming, rock climbing, soccer, lacrosse, karate, homework help, making dinners and lunches…we barely have time to do anything.

I, wanting to step in and help out (be involved) offered both Insane Mama and myself to volunteer at the middle school twice a week for a few hours each day. We will be at the front gate checking people in. Now…I know…what was I thinking?…taking more of our time to sit at the school…we barely have enough time to buy groceries, clean the house, etc.

Now…I don’t know about you, but where we live…there are some VERY difficult parents. The city that we live in is a funny mix of people. Minus the elderly and homeless populations the city is split between, very laid back, cool, beach-going folks who just want to have their kids get a good education and enjoy life….and the very wealthy, snooty, obnoxious, controlling, uptight people who won’t let their kids be kids and who feel the need to get(DEEP) into everyone else’s shit (business).

Last year we did one day at the gate and had a good time. We played Scrabble and had an opportunity to “parent watch.” It was a blast sometimes, watching these ridiculous parents strolling in thinking that rules don’t apply to them and that their kids were the only ones who mattered. Not to mention what some of these freaks wore. It is scary when you see that mother of a 7th grader waltz into the school dressed like a mix between a hooker and a high school slut. How embarrassing is that for the kid? Anyway…we see all kinds and have gotten a kick out of it.

This year…I am having second thoughts…I want to participate with the school (NO PTA for me!!!!) but don’t know if 6 hours a week at the school will drive me insane or not. I guess, more that dressing like a slut…me peeing on people as they enter the school…might embarrass our two kids there.

Well, I have to go soon….and think that if all goes as planned…I will not pee on anyone but will have some decent content to post …twice a week.

Peeing Up A Tree...and In The Wind

So, when is the point were a man can lay down the law with his “soon to be step-children?
I’ll start by saying that all 4 of IM’s kids are incredible. I love them all to death. I love the way IM parents and feel that she has done a great job raising them.

That being said…I guess I am kind of torn and on the fence for several reasons. (Please bear with me on this cuz I’m guessing that you will get confused.)

I am not, yet, their step father.
I, in several ways, have differing (from IM) reactions to things the kids do and say.
When asked something by one of them, I often say…”Let me run that by Mama.” I really don’t want to have to do that for the basic stuff…but SHE is their mother.
I have lived with them for more than 2 years.
I will be marrying her….someday soon.
I am introduced, by them, as step dad, parent or …future step dad.
I am here for them every day (groceries, preparing meals, tucking in at night, helping with homework, making lunches, going to school events, etc.)

Why do I not feel comfortable making final decisions? Why can’t I feel that it is OK to say “NO”? Why do I feel that IM should do the grounding and punishments?

One part of me thinks that it is for selfish reasons…I still feel that I want/need them to like, love, accept me…and I don’t want to do or say anything to make them not like me.
But then again…I am a man in the house and will only be treated as one if I act like one.
I’ve made it very clear to the kids that I, in no way, want to or am trying to take the place of their dad. I want them to ALWAYS see him as their Father. Shit.. I am starting to confuse myself.

Even today, Megan asked if she could go to a friend’s house to watch a movie, just for a few hours. I said “sure” and offered her a ride. Then, Megan turned to me and said, “should we go find Mama to tell her…and see if it is ok?” I looked at Megan and said to her, “no. I said that you could go…so you can. I will tell your mom exactly where you are.” She smiled and we got on our way. It was no big thing but it made me think…about me, my position here and how we will accept each other when our responses to the children differ.

I guess that I am stuck because I want to be a parent to them, but do not want to over step my bounds. I have been strict about some things, but have NEVER disciplined (grounded, yelled at, etc.) any of them. Not that I want to…but I do want to be comfortable that I can if needed.

Damn I am lost!

I do want your feedback. And, if I did not explain this in a way for people to understand…let me know and I will try it again.