A step parent needs your HELP

I don’t know how many of you have step kids, but I think I have dug myself into quite the hole around here.

I bitch and moan that I want the kids to look at me as a parent / equal to their mother (obviously not counting the ‘I came out of her vagina bond’ thing) But I want them to come to me with problems, to ask permission for things, for a kiss goodnight, etc.

I have not pushed the goodnight kisses, hugs whenever, etc…so now I feel kind of uncomfortable/scared hugging or kissing the girls. Are they going to think that I am being inappropriate? Will they wonder why the big change? Will they start thinking about why I have not been doing it all along?

I love Mariah’s kids as I do my own and would do anything for them. The one thing I fear is doing something that would make one (or all) of them pull away from me.

I just don’t know what to do. Start doing it religiously from now on. Continue the way that I have been and gradually begin to do it more and more. I am at a loss.