TentCampress And His Moon

I may have to see some sort of doctor…or scientists or something. Why you ask? Well, as most of you know, I live with Insane Mama and her 3 daughters and her son. The women in the house are 9, 11, 16 and, well, Insane Mama is in her 30’s.

I know that when women/girls who live together often start to ‘synchronize’ with their periods (or ‘moons’ as we call it here in the house of insanity.)

Now the reason that I may be in need of some sort of specialist is because I think that I may be….’synchronizing’. Right around the time that Insane Mama and 16 year old Amanda are entering into their spell of Pre Moon Syndrome (PMS), I start to crave ALL food, I get cranky, short tempered, I get cramps (from gas) and nothing that goes on in my life (for that week span) is ever right…or good enough.

I am scared! I say that cuz…what is next? I fear that I’ll wake up one morning lying in a pool of my own blood. Where will I bleed from? Shit that scares me!

With all of the others in the house…my irritability is irrational. It makes no sense. There is no logical reason for my MOODS and I have no way of explaining what is happening. I try to equate it with men’s sympathy pains during pregnancies…but that does not fly around here. When the two eldest females of the house are…irrational…I am the one who is supposed to be there to hold down the fort.

Now I don’t want any of you to feel bold enough to say something like, “maybe you are part woman and you actually GET PMS.” Or, “that maybe I am turning into a woman. That shit don’t fly on my blog!

Anyway…I don’t know if I need a doctor, a scientist/researcher or a freaking shrink.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Remote Fun - Continued

We hung out there for a little bit…then we started talking to some of the people playing darts. It was obvious to us that they had seen how we were groping one another by the way they were inconspicuously watching every one of our hand movements. We …kind of liked that. We continued our playfulness…not trying to hide any of it. It seemed to be turning the other couple on a bit and …we liked having that effect on them. The few times that I ‘buzzed’ her while talking with the other couple. I saw Mariah move her hand to her nether region while letting out a slight moan. I knew that the other woman had put two and two together and offered up a slight smile and approving nod to Mariah.

After another drink, Mariah and I moved back over to the bar area and squeezed onto two empty bar stools. This gave me the ‘access’ that I had been wanting. She sat facing me…with her legs slightly spread. I watched as they opened and closed every time I hit my little secret button. We sat, making small talk while I worked one of my hands up her thigh…to her incredibly wet panties. Her thighs clenched around my hand…keeping it in place. Rubbing her in small circles, I felt her rocking back and forth on her stool…pushing herself into my roaming fingers. My hand felt as if I’d been soaking it in hot, sweet massage oil. I slowly pulled my hand back, careful to keep all of her sweetness on my fingers. I began raising my hand, to my mouth when she quickly grabbed me by the wrist and pulled my soaking fingers to her lips. Not caring who was watching, she began licking and sucking on each of my wet fingers. I was rock hard. I raised my glass, indicated a toast and downed the rest of my beer…she followed in suit. I jumped up from my stool, realizing that both my pants had an obvious bulge in them and she had left an unmistakable wet spot on the stool that she had just jumped off. I led her by the hand to the front door of the bar. Once outside, I pulled her around the corner into the alley. It only took a second for my trained eyes to find a slightly dark spot for us to slide into. ‘Our spot’ was not completely out of sight…but enough for us. Being seen…was a bit exciting.


TO BE CONTINUED…….

Remote Fun

I give My Love the sexy new panties, with a remote controlled vibrator built-in, that I just found at our local ‘adult store.’ I tell her that we are going to go out for a drink. As we walk up to the door of our favorite English Pub, I turn to her and tell her that I want to see her squirm. She gives me a sweet smile, accompanied by a look that you would get from a puppy dog who saw the big piece of steak that you were holding behind your back.

We walk in and I tell her that I am going to run into the bathroom and that she should order us a few beers. As I come out of the bathroom, I see that she has wiggled her way up to the busy bar…and she was trying to get the attention of the bartender.

Wedged between a cluster of people, all trying to refill their drinks, I thought that it would be a good time to test the range of our new toy. With the press of a button, from inside my pocket, I instantly saw her jump a bit and then look around…expecting me to be right behind her. I was still about 25 feet away and blocked by a group of people playing darts.

I moved a bit closer and, leaning up against a post, gave her another quick little buzzzzz. She quickly turned her head, not seeing me…but smiling intently anyway. As the bartender approached her and I saw her begin to order…I hit her again…this time…I made it last a few seconds. I could see that while I was pressing that little special button in my pocket, it was as if I pressed the ‘pause’ button. She froze for a few seconds…mouth gaping…and eyes twinkling.

I approached her from behind and put my hand on the small of her back while pressing the button again….on…then off, on…the off… She turned to me and asked me how in the hell was she going to be able to order our drinks if I kept doing that. I smiled and just told her how hot she looked while getting a love jolt while trying to order drinks.

We stood there, in the middle of a big group of bar patrons…waiting to get our beers. I asked her how her new little ‘treat’ was. She smiled and responded with, “I hope to hell this thing is water proof.” I moved in close to her and gently slid my hand between her thighs…slowly moving up her skirt. Pressing the button again, I felt the vibration through her hot, wet panties.

Keeping the button pressed, I wet my fingers with her sweet, hot juice. After bringing my fingers up to my mouth and licking them clean, I smiled and winked at her and then grabbed her face and kissed her. I could tell that she could taste herself…the way that her tongue wiped mine clean. She looked me in the eyes and said, “I think I’m kind of liking this.”

We grabbed our drinks and made our way through the crowded room and found a little spot near the dart boards where we could put our drinks down and continue people watching, watching dart games and …our little sexual exchange. Off and on, I had been pressing the button…watching her miss a step and stutter a bit. I slid my hand under her skirt once more…this time I felt her juices literally dripping down her upper thighs. I looked down at the floor…expecting to see a small pool of ‘love’…then I caressed every part of her body with my eyes, until we made eye contact. She just nodded and said, “Oh yeah.”

Her hands then started wandering…brushing over the front of my pants…finding me completely hard…she gave me a gentle squeeze. I gave her a little buzz…in return I got a slight stroke. I liked this give and take. We kissed again. Grinding on her…I could feel the vibrating in my groin…oh…this is good.


TO BE CONTINUED - PART 2

Notes From The Planet EX

The following is a sampling of some of the recent emails that I’ve gotten from the EX.
I am convinced that she is COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL...what do you think?


Chris,

We already know how it will go based on past experience and I know what is best for my boys who I am with everyday. I am the one that has to deal with them not getting up for school and being cranky the next AM.
I was hoping you would finally work with me but if I have to go to court to have visitation amended, I will since you are being unreasonable and unwilling to make a small change that is in the boys best interest. I'm sure the judge will agree as usual. .

But I guess I shouldn't expect cooperation from people who let 11 year olds operate motor craft and don't call 911 when someone overdoses to protect them from CPS. I suppose its my obligation to report such issues and concerns too. Good thing I grabbed screen shots about the not calling 911 and fear of CPS before that was removed.

I owe my lawyer $20000 thanks to having to go to court with your unfit self, so I had to cut him loose. I can't afford his bills when I am raising the boys. But he will finish the work he was retained for and he referred me to another great but more affordable lawyer to take over from here.
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Hi -

I know we agreed to 930a - 530p this Sunday but is there any way you can come earlier just this Sunday? You can still bring them back @ 530p but my plans got moved around a bit so it would make a huge difference if you could help me out by picking them up as early as possible.

I know you're probably not inclined to help me, but perhaps we can finally put all the craziness aside and this could be a first step in trying to help each other instead of working against each other? My friend, Kim, who you met at Jack's school has such a good relationship with he ex-husband (and his new wife) despite some very similar issues they went through, and I'd like for us all to get in a similar place someday and just put the past aside. I think I finally see that you have the boys' best interests at heart and wouldn't do anything to hurt/damage them, and I'd just like to move forward. All this drama is exhausting.

Let me know what you think.
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I know you emailed Jim too.

And I'm sorry that it is sad for you, I really am, but these are people that are VERY ACTIVE -- as in almost daily -- in our lives. We go on vacations with Jim and his family, he's like an uncle to the boys and has become like my brother over the past few years. He has really been there for us. And you know already that Linda and I are very close.

I will leave it up to them but I just think its very hard. -- especially because these two men are so close to me.

I too am happy that we seem to be getting along better and I hope we can keep it that way, but Eric and Jim have been huge parts of my support system during the very bad times and I think that it will be very hard to maintain active friendships.

I really don't want you to think I'm being intentionally mean, territorial or anything. I also don't want to speak for them...I just wanted to relay that Jim and Eric and very important people in our lives and it will be very weird -- for all -- to try to reconstruct what you had with them before.
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Jaden's camp counselor just told me that he said something about going to the beach with you and the waves had carried him far off to the side and he couldn't see you (? Not sure exactly what he means) and he couldn't see you. Apparently she asked who was with him and he said no one, that the adults weren't in the water.

I haven't talked to Jaden yet, but the boys have just learned how to swim literally this summer and don't go to the beach often, so I would feel much more comfortable if you could stay close to them if possible. We also know someone whose 6 year old just died a couple of months ago (drowned in a pool and his parents were literally right there...and he could swim -- it was because of it that I pit the boys in a 10 day intensive swim class) so I'm extra sensitive about it.
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I know…he has been lying a lot about little things and it has been going on for some time. I address it with him and his therapist has been working on it. And, yes, he has a lot of anger and jealously about Mariah and her kids that he hasn’t told me about but that does come up with his therapist. She has been working with him on it. But, I really don’t think he would steal anything…maybe intentionally hide it.

I also recently started seeing someone pretty seriously who he’s not happy about either. He has been acting out more again and we think it’s about that, even though he hasn’t met him yet but he knows of him. I was actually supposed to go away with him this weekend but cancelled my trip because Jaden was so unhappy / acting out. His behavior has been a problem and we’re working hard on it. I think it really is just a product of everything that has gone on…Jack was so young but Jaden had to deal with a lot.

Anyway, we’re working on it and I will let you know if I can find out anything about the iPod.
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I’m still so pissed off about this. Jaden says he didn’t touch it and I believe him. YOU, as his FATHER, should believe him. He admitted to scribbling on Megan’s book. He told me about it too. He is angry and he is a CHILD. He acts out. The fact that you are accusing him of doing something to someone in your new family without being sensitive to the child that put up with so much trauma because of YOU and because of MARIAH and that you are sticking up for those kids and throwing yours under a bus is so sad.

I have been trying to take the high road lately and brush all the crap that has gone on, the crap that I read about that makes me want to keep my boys far away from you and Mariah, the crap that others tell me, the fact that you don’t support your own children and all you get $10,000 checks for doing nothing from Mariah’s family while I work my tail off to support the kids you also brought into this world… I have been trying to forget all that just to civil for the sake of Jaden and Jack.

But this really pushed me over the edge. That, combined with Mariah’s evil comments about MY CHILDREN.
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Things were going well
...and then you and Mariah decided to accuse Jaden of something he didn’t do. And now posting half-truths about me on her blog. Why did I send you the emails I did? Because I am defending MY AMAZING SON that you and she judged.

Everything was FINE until you guys accused Jaden of stealing and then MARIAH posted about Jaden on Twitter. Even if it’s gone now, I saw it and grabbed a screenshot and it was WRONG.YOU and MARIAH are the ones that decided to get nasty – not with me, but with MY SON.

This isn’t about me – I don’t care WHAT you think about me. And, all of the friends you miss so much want nothing to do with you – they are still my friends…even “RM, the actor” – he didn’t get famous and fall out of the circle, he was also disgusted by you.

The reason I am mad is because you turned on your OWN SON and Mariah, who has NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT JADEN decided to get nasty about him.

And boy, was that a mistake because I am about to use every freaking bit of ammunition I have been holding back in court again. I will NOT have my boys around people like her who don’t treat them the way they should be treated. If my boyfriend treated the boys badly or said evil things about them, you wouldn’t be happy either. Of course, I would never be with someone like that.
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In the morning.

I would have Mariah quit bad mouthing me on Twitter and talking about something she doesn’t know about. Isn’t it bad enough that your son hates you? Bad mouthing their mother isn’t going to help.
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We have a conflict on 9/21 so unfortunately you will have to miss the visit that day.

Also - we will need to go back to court to discuss visitation in light of some serious issues that have been brought up - including that Jaden was injured at your home on his last visit because you allowed him and Jack to jump out of a window multiple times, my concerns about your drinking as well as the stability of the others in your household and their influence on Jaden and Jack.

You will receive notice of the court date via mail.
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MY LAST EMAIL TO HER SAID THAT I DO NOT WANT HER TO EMAIL ME ANYMORE.

I can not deal with her BS anymore!

Who Is The REAL TentCamper? Answers!!!!

So if you thought that you were smart...think again.

I have BOLDED the FALSE facts.


Favorite cartoon growing up was the Bugs Bunny / Road Runner Hour
First time I was ‘in love’ was in 6th grade
I am an exhibitionist
I am self conscious about my breath
I am trained in martial arts
I burp and fart in public…and loud
I coach a youth sports team
I grew up in New Hampshire
I had sex for the first time at 13 years old
I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters
I have 3 fathers and 3 mothers
I have an average sized penis
I have an obsession with hula girls
I have, combined, spent more than a year in county jails
I joined the military in the 90’s
I like kids more than adults
I like the taste of blood
I moved into a fraternity house when I was 16
I never finished college
I used drugs and alcohol for the first time when I was 10
I was a regional track and field star in middle and high school
I was adopted
I was raped as an adult
I wish I was a teen in the 40’s
I’ve been shot at by several people at once
I’ve been snow skiing since the age of 2
I’ve gotten only one woman pregnant in my 40 years of life
I’ve held a person while they were beaten and killed
I’ve lived in 9 different states
I’ve watched someone commit suicide
My favorite animal is the Silverback Gorilla
My favorite game at a casino is craps
my favorite hard alcohol is Jack Daniels
My favorite hobby is fishing
My favorite movies of all time are; Goodfellas, Shawshank Redemption & The Godfather
My favorite music is Blues and Jazz
My favorite NFL team is the New York Giants
My favorite parts of a woman’s body are (in order); eyes, ass, lips
The last music CD I bought was in 2001
Three music genres that I can’t stand are; opera, heavy metal and musicals


Which three are NOT TRUE?