Please make sure to read parts one, two and three before you get sucked into this
My teenage boy brain insisted that she was the one. She had never had sex, never drank, never done drugs, never snuck out of her house, never ditched school….and I was the one to show her how it is all done.
Our relationship was good…while it lasted. I taught her that blow jobs on demand were “what people in love do.” I taught her that slinking up to the college guy outside of the liquor store and putting on a cute smile so he’d buy us beer was the greatest gift a girl could give her man. I taught HER that sneaking out of her house late at night, and walking the ¾ miles to my house, to have sex with me in the woods was best, cuz I would have more energy for her. I taught her that …well…I won’t get into the real heavy stuff. I think you all get my drift.
Anyway, I can honestly (and now shamefully) say that I thoroughly corrupted her. Only a few months into our relationship she; smoked cigarettes, drank on a regular basis, smoked pot here and there, coned beer out of unsuspecting college students, ditched school, snuck out of her house at night and put my sexual gratification above anything else.
It was not long after my step father walked in on …her kneeling before me in my mother’s home office, that I broke up with her. Honestly, I think I did it because I was starting to get more attention from a lot of other girls (she had a tendency to discus our sex life with all of the other girls at school). To top everything off…as payback for me breaking up with her, she asked my younger brother out (and he said yes) and proceeded to have sex with him for about 2 weeks before that faded away.
Now…if you have read all of the parts of this series, you’ll understand that I had finally learned a thing or two.
I moved to NYC shortly afterwards and proceeded to spend the next 5 years just being a single (dog) guy in his mid to late teens. I had no serious relationships…but did have a lot of fun. I guess that is why they say that you have to ‘live a little’ before you settle down.
The End…for now.
14 Comments:
If it makes you feel any better, she was probably going to get corrupted at some point. Right?
So you took advantage of this girl's insecurity and abandonment/daddy issues and you admit it. That's amazing.
Hahaha....I hope she learned and got a spine after that.
I have a daughter, and now I am even more afraid of her teen years.
But, I think we all do shameful things when we are young. I look back at how I treated a few ex-boys and cringe.
Now I'm conflicted.
I loved reading these little glimpses into the TentCamper love vault. I really did.
But, I also kinda want to slap you in the face on behalf of that girl. And girls like her everywhere.
I guess that's complicated response is a compliment. Good posts.
Zen...Us guys make all kinds of rookie mistakes. At least Camper has become aware of his, right?
Too true, DGB. And I'm not saying girls don't make huge mistakes, too - the worst one usually being trusting stoopid young boys. ;)
But, I dunno, DGB - and TC - you guys tell me if I'm wrong, but ...
while I do hear some hindsight/regret in this post ... I also hear just a teeny tiny hint of that boyish pride of "conquest", too?
Maybe I'm being overly sensitive? But, obviously, I can't help but to relate to the girl's POV in this story. As a woman who dated a lot of assholes before I found my prince charming, I sympathize with her.
But I meant it when I said I really liked these posts.
Good writing it like any other art - it doesn't have to be all pretty sunshine and rainbows to be good. Sometimes the ones that make you feel ... conflicted ... are the best kinds.
There was some boyish pride in what I wrote...but that is what I felt at the time...not now. I do feel badly about what I did, but how else does one (boy or girl) learn about relationships other that experiencing both the good and the bad.
This is why I am having such a hard time with my 18 and 13 year old girls... I know (first hand) what users and assholes boys can be.
And I think that's what makes it a good post, TC - that balance of what you felt then and what you felt now. I think that's good writing.
But, like I said, that's also what gets to me about this post. And, let me clarify that it's not a bad thing. Like I said, that's what makes it a great post.
I guess I should revise my earlier statement. I don't want to slap YOU in the face. I want to slap teenage-you - and most other teenage boys. Because, like you say, so many of them can be such assholes.
I don't know what I'd do if I had daughters. As it is, I don't know what I'm going to do about my sons! :)
Dude, I just read all 4 parts, and while I want to love you to pieces, I'm a bit mad at you for going out with her just to 'mold' her. Grrr.
But I think I forgive you. :)
And as Daddy Geek Boy says, she probably would have been corrupted at some point.
Tell us more!!
it all depends on who u hang out with and their tendency to feel needed. If she would have never met u and stuck with friends that were more like her until she gained a self esteem she probably wouldn't have eventually been corrupted. But like anything she had agency to choose to "fall to the darkside" or not ;)
Crazy life u led TC
I don't want to slap you (or even chastise teenage you) on behalf of that girl... I want to slap THAT GIRL on behalf of her real self, her future self, her stifled self (which, hopefully, she discovered eventually). I actually want to congratulate you for having the strength of character to admit that you are human & flawed and have done things you're not 100% proud of - KUDOS and BRAVO! for your courageous admission... It's nice to see someone declaring the truth while so many others just run around in circles trying to fool/please everyone else.
Listen - if this girl was being exploited, used, taken advantage of, manipulated, whatever... she KNEW it, and CHOSE to live with it. The reasons for her choice can probably be explained through "absent daddy syndrome" psycho-babble. For THAT, her parents need a quick slap too, but I don't want to stray too far from my point; which is this:
No matter how apathetic, selfish, malicious, conniving, insensitive or manipulative you were, that girl knew what was happening and did nothing to stop you from degrading her - she may have even acted like she was enjoying herself, though she obviously couldn't have been - and that leads me to the conclusion that she was using you as well; Perhaps as an excuse for letting her inner bad girl rear its ugly head, perhaps to fill some kind of void, perhaps to have someone to pin her bad behavior on... I dunno. She even went as far as to join the party and degrade herself for the sake of payback. She knew what was happening and is every bit as much to blame for the way it played out as you are.
The reason I am of this opinion is because before I realized (in my mid-twenties; way too late in life)that I was worth respecting and certainly before I began DEMANDING that respect, I was that girl. I saw what the boy was up to - only a blind person wouldn't! I KNEW I was being used and wasn't concerned enough about my dignity to speak up. I knew he didn't love me, but it was sooooo good to hear that I ignored the truth. I felt the shame & guilt of just letting things happen that way, but the attention I was getting was enough to keep me complacent. Every time I sacrificed my own self worth, HE would smile and that was enough... I made someone happy and that's what I wanted; someone to smile because of something Kimberly did.
I USED HIM JUST AS MUCH AS HE USED ME. So equal blame for any damage done falls on my shoulders as well as his. Thanks for tolerating my long winded diatribe... *blushing, wondering why I can't hit the brakes before I say too much* lol
Your story was beautifully written - took me right back to the days of sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach when puppy love strikes for the first time. Thanks for a great post! Oh, and maybe it's something in the air, but I saw another post today confessing to a similar crime. Here's the link if you're interested:
http://meditations-in-an-emergency.blogspot.com/2009/11/education.html
Kim - .....holy molly...talk about some feedback. I appreciate your input and glad that it struck something in you.
As you know from my own blog, this struck a chord with me also...thanks for sharing and bringing back some vivid teenage memories of what it's like to be young, dumb and full of come.
Hmm. I've just spent some time reading through all of your parts, OH I MEAN, the parts.
You know, I don't know I can throw any stones here darlin, as I've done some things in the dating sense I'm not proud of.
Good story TentCamper. Very very good!
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