Friday, June 12, 2009

‘Normal’ childhood? - Part Three - The Bat and the Broom

Be sure to read part one and part two before this one

At the ripe age of about 9, and after causing some sort of stink at the dinner table, I was sent to my room while everyone else finished their dinner and had their ice cream.

Now, we lived in an old Victorian house and my room, the one that I shared with B1 was on the top floor …the converted attic.

Sitting up there sulking on the edge of my bed, wondering if I could coerce B2 to sneak me up some ice cream after dinner, I was startled by a freaking bird flying right through my open window. As it zipped back and forth around my room, spinning in circles, seemingly very disoriented, this ‘bird’ swooped down and got its feet caught in my hair.

Pause for image of said hair. (and maybe a bit of laughter)



Completely freaking out, running in circles, yelling for my mother and flinging my arms up to try to dislodge this hair intruder….I hear my mother yelling up the stairs, “I told you to be quiet up there…or you’ll stay up there all night!”

Continuing my cries for help, my mother stormed her way up to my room, cursing me enough so that I did not know who to be more scared of…this beast clawing at my head…or the one about to bust through my bedroom door with a belt.

A second later my mother burst though my door, with belt in hand and a lung full of air to scream at me. Upon seeing the flapping, tangled mess that was once my head, she screamed, “BAT!” and swiftly ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Shocked that A. It was a bat in my hair and not a bird…and B. that my mother would run out and just leave me there. I continued screaming and running around the room. A minute or so later she barged back into my room…armed with a broom. She march straight at me and began bashing me on the head with the broom…worried more so about hitting the bat than the structural integrity of my cranium. Once she successfully knocked the bat loose from my hair she dragged my whimpering body out of the room (as if I were a wounded soldier being saved by a war hero) and slammed the door once again.

After pleading with the man that lived next door, the bat was evicted from my room. The story ends with a haircut appointment for me early the next morning.

As the stories are seemingly endless…I’ll continue with another next time – Military Training

5 Comments:

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

holy hell...that would of freaked me the hell out!!!!...soooo just curious did you end up getting any ice cream because man after that you should of got the whole damn container!!!!

Why Mom Drinks Rum said...

Oh.My.GOD

Who does that HAPPEN to? Fresh hell. I mean...honestly. You should write a book. Or make a movie. I dunno...but WOW.

Teri said...

Oh, that is just gross. I once had a lizard jump on my head, but a bat? YUCK!

Swirl Girl said...

I don't know about any other stories (but I am sure you'll provide the evidence) - but I'd say your mom had a pretty normal reaction to seeing a bat caught in your hair. I'da done the same thing, I think.

CailinMarie said...

omg I'm sorry I am laughing so hard I'm doing keegles.
that sort of thing would so happen in this house. I mean sending a kid to their room and then some strange event and me STORMING up the stairs putting Norman to total shame to find that... Although I'm not likely to beat the hell out of their head... Usually... no bats. We did have a snake in the basement last winter, but thankfully not in someone' room. Well, the 5th grader has one in a tank though. The wild one stayed downstairs...

 

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