Snapshot of a Typical Night

Typical night…Insane Mama and I have lunches made, kids tucked, lights off and doors locked…Time to head upstairs to watch some TV and enjoy a “wind down drink.”

So this night…I thought that we’d watch one of the movies that I had recorded (since all of the GOOD SHOWS are on breaks.)

Anyways, the movie that I turned on was Species.
Now I thought that she would like this movie because she loves Forrest Whittaker…and little miss Natasha is ..kind of hot.

So we get into the movie a bit…chatting along the way

I will pause here for a second to explain a bit. I LOVE movies and like to jab at IM about movie and actor facts because I know that she is basically brain dead when it comes to knowing who is who and what they’ve been in. The following is a perfect example.

So as Forrest enters the screen
IM – “oh…I love him!”
(this is where it starts) I pause the TV
ME – “who is that?”
IM – “uummm…you know…what is his name? oh yeah…Denzel Washington!” (all proud of herself)
ME – “WHAT?! That is no where near Denzel!”
IM – “I mean Samuel Jackson.”
ME – “Are you kidding me? I thought you loved this guy?”
IM – I do! He’s cute! In a Chandler (from Friends) kind of way.”
ME – “WHAT?! First of all, he looks nothing like Chandler….and ….you think Chandler is cute?”
IM – “Um..No, well I do think he is cute…his character is. Not HOT…but a cute character.”
ME – “OK..even so…they look nothing alike and …act nothing alike. How are they the same?”
IM – “Wait …I know…That is My MAN!!!!!!....Morgan Freeman!”
ME – “Oh for F%#@ sake! NO! It is Forrest Whittaker!”
IM – “Yeah…that’s what I meant. I love him!”
ME – “Oh Yeah? … What else has he been in?”
IM – “I know that! He was in The Green Mile.”
ME – “NO.”
IM – “Yes he was.”
ME – “That was Michael Clark Duncan. NOT Forrest Whittaker….dumb ass”
IM – “Oh is that the same guy from that football movie with Tom Cruise?”
ME – “You mean Jerry Maguire?...NO, that is Cuba Gooding Jr.”
IM – “Oh…Whatever…can we just watch the freakin show?”
ME – “Sure…right after you tell me who that black guy that you think is so HOT is.”
IM – “It is the guy from House!...wait…no…ER…or Criminal Minds….Yeah! Criminal minds.”
ME – So you like him better than …Chandler?”
IM – “WAY BETTER. The Criminal Minds guy is HOT, HOT HOT!!!!”
ME – “And yet he looks nothing like me.. (with a sad face)
IM – “Yes he does.”
ME – “How? He is 6’2”, 220 pounds of muscle. I am 5’ 10”, 175 pounds of beer belly.”
IM – “Well….I love your belly and I love you…so SHUT THE HELL UP AND PUSH PLAY!”

I think this is why we never get to watch a full movie at night. OH…The joys of our “alone time.”