Monday, September 1, 2008

Who's In My Tent??????

So…just to tell you all up front, this post is solely out of …nothing else to write…and I think that it is kind of an interesting topic.

Now I will not, formally, say that it has been a topic of discussion or that we’ve done it…or that we’ve even fantasized about it, but I will say that my topic today is something that I think a lot of people talk about, think about and now…there is even a really good TV show (kind of) about it.

This post is going to be about threesomes. Can you safely have them? Will they destroy a relationship? Do one or both partners in the relationship always get jealous? These are my questions.

I will not speak of my past…young TentCamper was a bit of a player and …well…we’ll just keep it at that and go from where my head is and has been recently.

The thought of having a threesome is kind of hot. (Not admitting to waking up…hard as a pillar at Stonehenge at the though) I’d like to think that having threesomes would be a great way to add spice or something different to the mix in the bedroom, but then…what if it ruins a perfectly good relationship? I love Insane Mama and would not want to do anything to ruin that. Now I know that she finds certain women hot…not saying that she follows them around or tries to bed them down…but …we talk. That makes me think that this option is one that could be open to us.

The thought of her fooling around with another hottie in our bed…then both of them turning their attention to me (hold on…typing with one hand is getting ‘hard.’) Anyway…I know that it would not be far fetched for us to give it a shot…but do we even want to go there? What if she wanted me and another guy?

I will speak about me here.
1. I feel that I would have some serious ‘issues’ with another naked man in my bed (see I Am Homophobic)
2. I feel that I would get jealous of another man with her
3. Seeing her with another woman would be…how do you guys say it? HHHHAAAAWWWWTTT (or something like that)
4. Having two women using and abusing me would be nothing that I’d complain about.
5. I would not want to do anything to make IM jealous or feel hurt.
6. I do want to try new things and have fun…but don’t know if rocking the boat would be a good idea.

We’ve sat and watched Swingers and commented talked about how fun it could be…what a great, open relationship the main swinging couple has and so on. We’ve bee out at bars and, while sitting at the bar or a table…pointed out hot girls and guys to one another.

We do have a very good relationship and , I think, can talk about anything with each other. We have a great sex life (ups and downs…but mostly ups.) We have fun together and enjoy all of the time that we spend together.

“If it ain’t broke…don’t fix it” comes to mind…but so does “Life is not worth living, unless you LIVE it.”


Insane Mama said...

I think EVERYBODY has thought about it babe. Weather they admit it or not. Heck having George Clooney and Brad Pitt over at the same time would be JUST FINE WITH ME! Again I love your honesty.

Insane Mama said...

Leaving another so I can be your top pee'er

Insane Mama said...

Love you babe

The Mom said...

I'm sure it's crossed the fantasies of hubby and I but that's as far as we'll take it, I couldn't handle another woman...and I'm sure he'd be just as homophobic with another guy.

Molly said...

I have never had one, but the Naughty Architect used to talk all the time about having me and another girl, so I think it is only a natural fantasy for a guy. I think if I was in the situation, I would want another girl with me and the guy I am with, I don't think I would want two blokes at once!

Insane Mama said...

I was kidding Molly...Two "Blokes" not really my thing either...

T said...

Well.... since we're goin' there....

We've talked about it too. But yes, there definitely has to be some honesty there. And keeping your partner as the main focus.

I've done it and its been great. And I've done it when its gotten weird. I would definitely suggest laying out some rules beforehand. It helps your partner to know where you will or will not go, and vice versa. It offers a comfort level for both of you.

If you set it up just right, it can be pretty darn spectacular.

Its a shame guys get weird about having another guy in the room. That happens to be my fantasy... two guys... then again, I won't turn away the perfect opportunity to be with a guy and girl again too.

I love that you write what you think. Then I start commenting things that I probably wouldn't say on my own blog. Well, at least not now. Maybe someday...

Swirl Girl said...

I barely know what to do with one dick, so two would totally out of the question...but the fantasy lurks somewhere in the galaxy of my mind....somewhere out there.

Ms. Single Mama said...

Never had one. But it would have to be with another woman, couldn't do two men at once. Good luck with that - and nice advice. : )

Like your blog. Never peed in the wind though.

Rhea said...

Sorry, Insane Mama, I'll step down from the top commenter spot and let you have it back. You should be his top commenter. :o)

I had some fun while it lasted. hehe

I don't know about the threesome idea. I think it's great to explore sexuality and if your partner is willing...then go for it. But, like you said, a small part of me would be worried it would change things. I wouldn't want to lose the one I loved. Tough call.

Giggle! said...

Ahhhh hahahahahahaha!!!

HELLO! :-) *Waves Madly*

I'm a friend of the lovely texan cowgirl Rhea! And I got your link off her 'Men only' post!

And I gotta say.. as soon as I read the name of your blog I just HAD TO come and check it out!!!

As far as Threesomes go... well I've got couple friends who sware by it and their relationships have bloomed... but I've also had friends who's relationships have been destroyed from it!

So I aint touching that one!

I think it depends on where your own relationship is at!!

You guys seem to have an awesome relationship! Some women get jealous of their partners even THINKING about a threesome!

Great blog!! xx

buffalodickdy said...

I learned a long time ago even looking at another woman could get me in trouble...

Russ said...

Totally normal, Lord knows I've had similar thoughts. However, if an extra chick gets to join the fun for you, wouldn't turn about be fair play? I couldn't perform with another guy around.

Besides, trust is an important aspect to a relationship and as soon as a third body is added, people start playing head games.

Anonymous said...

Alright, i'm joining this discussion anonymously so I can be honest about my, ahem..experience in this subject. I used to be a little.. we'll say "wild" (hey, I had fun & was always safe) So I have had experience with threesomes on a few different levels. I was in a relationship where we brought in another girl & then later another guy-i've also been that 3rd party for a couple that was friends of mine. It all boils down to this-some threesomes work & some don't but you HAVE to BOTH want it. If you just eventually talk your partner into it & they don't want it just as much it WON'T work! If you both decide it is something you want there has to be a conversation (or 2 or 3) about what's OK (kissing, oral sex, whatnot)& how far it's allowed to go EXACTLY. Another major point to the dimensions of a threesome is who that 3rd person is.. a friend is a tough one because you don't want to make things awkward & it has the potential to cause jealousy later down the line when everyone has to hang out together. O.K.-sounds like I have way to much experience but I won't lie, I had ALOT of fun back in the day! ;-)

Christy said...

Well, I have to admit that I am a little surprised to be walking into a post like this, but I am all for honest discussions so, here's my take on it.

I think most people out there (especially men) have fantasized (and continue to fantasize) about having a threesome or being with another woman while their wife/girlfriend watches, and that's fine. I do think however, that it's probably one of those things that sounds better on paper (so to speak.) Some things are better left to fantasy.

I've had this conversation with girlfriends before and no one that I've discussed it with can buy into the fact that you (as a woman) could ever really be okay with allowing (and watching) your husband be with another woman. I'm not sure how most men feel about that in terms of their wives being with someone else, but I know my husband wouldn't be truly ok with it (even if it might sound like a great idea.)

Anonymous said...

O.K.-anonymous commenter back again..just wanted to tell you (since i've already told you so much about myself) that I am a female and having already been a participant in a successful 3some, know that it takes a certain kind of person to be comfortable watching your loved one get intimate w/ someone else..& it's OK to feel like "oh, hell no! Not my man!" but I myself am OK with it because I feel very loved in my relationship & am able to separate sex from making love. Again, just the kind of person I am (also helps that i'm a total voyeur) & I am definitely an exception to the rule..just for the record, i've been with my honey for 11 yrs & he would NEVER be OK with me adding a guy as the 3rd person (damn)

The Improper Adoptee said...

With AIDS still around I don't think you should. Condoms Do break..

Me said...

Start with taking her to a topless joint and have a girl give her a lap dance.

See where the conversation goes from there.

It has to be her idea. But, most girls want a 3some if the other girl doesn't touch you and you don't touch her.

Maybe that's enough for you?

Also the opportunity has to randomly present itself, or she has to pick the girl without a suggestion from you. If you go saying "how about your friend Susie, would you ever have a 3some with her?" will turn in to a big "what the hell!"

Sorry. There are a bunch of rules. It may not be worth it :)


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