Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tropical Storm In My Coochie

OK….Fuck it….I’m just going to get it out in the open.

Maybe it is the overcast day, maybe I am the first guy to get his ‘period’, maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed…but I am a bit …ruffled.

I will begin by saying that I blog for personal therapy, to share my life experiences and to get honest feedback from people about what I go through and what I’ve been through. I am typically not a “hater” and am not very concerned with my blog numbers. What I do care about is the blogging community’s etiquette and bloggers’ respect for each other.

Now I may make some enemies here and, as stated above…I could really NOT give a shit.

Where do I start? I am fairly new to blogging…I started blogging in July and this will be my 103 post. I do my best at networking to find a group of people who like to read what I write…and who I enjoy reading. Not that we need to like everything that each of us writes…but enough so that we visit each other’s blogs and comment on a regular basis.

As far as I am concerned, I do not think that just because I like you…or I have linked to you…that means you need to like me. BUT, out of respect, thanks, etiquette…or whatever…if I visit, read and comment on your blog every day…don’t you think that maybe you could swing by once in a while to leave a “thanks for the visits” comment…just for the sake of it? I am getting really turned off by the people who don’t do that…or can’t find the time to pull their heads out of Dooce’s vagina to drop a thank you to their loyal readers. That makes me think a few things: 1. That they are pompous ass holes that care nothing about their readers…only their numbers. 2. That what they write is over-prepared and lacking in the “this is me” arena. 3. That they are too wrapped up in themselves to remember what being polite means.

I don’t really mean to point fingers here, and I know that the blog/person that I am about to mention is not the only one…but it is one that I have had this very experience with.

OK…To set this up properly, the thing that gets to me is when you read and post on someone and they read and post on your blog…on a regular/daily basis…and then their comments stop while yours continue. Now I know that people loose readers all the time, but in cases like these, it feels more like some of these bloggers think that they’ve risen above the rest of us…that their ‘blogshit’ doesn’t stink and that they are too good for the regular folks. Topping that off, when I see posts on their blogs about their blogging powers, boasting about the number of readers that they have, making a run for the super-popular bloggers and writing made up, fantasy-esc stories about their families (when they claim that their blog is about them and their life)…I feel like kicking them …right in their Analytics!

Yes…I am speaking of Black Hockey Jesus – the guy with Hot Air In HIS Vagina. I have had him on my blogroll for 3 months. I, from the start commented daily. He did the same. I got comments from him on a regular basis. NOW…he has not left a comment since he went on his crusade to ‘beat’ Dooce. I continued reading him and …he is still on my blogroll. I hope that he comes back down to earth. I love his writing and think that he is funny as shit…but He is showing his uncaring, pompous, arrogant side these days. His blogroll only consists of people that get in excess of like 1,000 visits a day and those seem to be the only people that he comments on. Now, with the 30+ comments that he’s gotten so far on the post he put up today…my guess is that about 5 will receive comments from him. That is kind of FUCKED!!!!

Why did he stop commenting on my blog? Have I change my writing style or what I write about lately? NO! Did I bash him or stop reading or commenting on his site? NO! What is it? From what I can piece together…it is solely that his comments on my site will not bring him any new or additional traffic. That is fucked and I hope that when he reads this he can at least take a minute to understand where I am coming from …and maybe leave a comment to tell me why he no longer reads/comments on my blog.

Phew…… Glad I got that off my chest.

Again…he is NOT the only one. There are many mommy and daddy bloggers who are doing the same exact thing…I just saw it most clearly with him.


Shit….I hope he does not track me down and … challenge me to a trampoline contest…or …talk shit to the dead about me.

You all have any thoughts on this subject?

47 Comments:

Insane Mama said...

Babe, You are a loyal commenter and you genuinly care. People that think their blogshit doesn't stink SUCK! It's such a "cliquey"
like high school...only worse.
You rock

Xbox4NappyRash said...

'talk shit to the dead about me'

Brilliant.

It might be pissy, but I wouldn't be too bothered over it.

Deb said...

that bugs the shit our of me too and i have actually removed people from my blog roll because of it. at least you continue to read them - i give them some time and if they cannot be bothered to say anything to me in that time - i delete them. i wont delete you though cause if you ever finish with IM it's gonna be my turn dammit (lol).
Rant/tangent complete!

Holy Crappers said...

First off I hate Dooce !!I totally agree with you. I do try on a daily basis to read and add as many blogs as I can and also try to comment Some days it can be tough. I have cleaned up my blogroll in the last few weeks. I used to visit a few gay guys site, they know who they are, never come over to my place. I know I have sitemeter.


#1

The Mom said...

First, I appreciate your comments, you are pretty much the only guy that hangs out at my estrogen-filled place and I thank you for it. I know all my stuff isn't your thing, but you have kids and a loving IM, so you get me sometimes, and that's cool.

I probably will never open up quite like you do in certain areas, but that's just me, and hell doesn't mean I don't love reading about someone else's hot sex life! ;)

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Amen!!! I remember reading something once about someones "commenting" policy and the required number of times they had to get a comment to leave one and blah blah blah. And from the same person to a whole plan to take over the blogging world. Popular Blogging is like Cabbage Patch Kids and Beanie Babies and Webkinz - yeah, they're the hot commodity now, but, like all good .com's... it'll die eventually.

I personally am pretty tickled that you've started commenting on MY blog! Thanks for that! I'm enjoying reading yours as well.

And way to use the blog to get it all out of your system. THAT rocks!!!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hehehehe love your Title! Is bloggin getting to be the new wave "CHAT" contest? Like years ago you were cool to host your own chat room and have the ability to control, kick, keep ppl out? Maybe. The chat room of the 2000's. Keep speaking your mind. Your awesome to read! If I don't comment everyday it's because I'm an idiot and busy.

Keep on, keepin on!!!

- Jennifer

Stephanie said...

I'm with you. I certainly appreciate comments, even though my husband ridicules me for checking my email every twenty minutes. "How's your comments?" He mocks. Butt. I also enjoy leaving comments, because really, who wouldn't want to hear what I think?

Seriously, good for you for taking the stinky non-commenters to task. You said what a lot of us are thinking. Then again, I think you do that a lot...

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Meh. He hasn't commented on my blog in awhile. But then, I haven't commented on his either. He's probably just busy. Or burnt out. Or an asshole.

I'm voting the first one though because if he's an asshole that means I am too.

Shit. I'm an asshole.

Russ said...

Eh, have a beer/bourbon/beverage of your choice and relax. You write and they will come.

FYI: I have similar feelings. I try to answer every comment someone leaves me, by email if possible.

Brandy said...

Crap. I know you commented to me, like once maybe and honestly I don't know if I returned the favor or not. My humble apologies...it wasn't intentional.

Some days I'm all over replying and commenting and other days, eh not so much.

And shit, I don't even get that many comments so I have no real excuse. I suck.

Brandy said...

But I love the title of this post!

Julie said...

Well, I am just now finding your blog but I will indeed be back. And I will comment every damn time!!! :)

For the record, I've been blogging since April and I think the most comments I ever had was 6 on one post. According to stats I have an average of 112 hits a day, so why the other 106 people don't comment is beyond me!!!!!

Maybe I'm that boring!

Wendy said...

I agree with you totally! I'm pretty new to blogging, too. I started at the end of June. I saw BHJ and TWIYV everywhere, so I checked it out. I think the first post I read was about the pedophile at the neighborhood pool. I commented every day and waited patiently to see if he would come by my house. Nope. Never happened. And then I started realizing how bitter he is, and that he never seems to write the truth. Helloooo? I have books to get my fiction fix!

I'm a total comment whore. I love to give and receive. Yeah, I comment on sites that I know will never visit mine, but that's how I meet a lot of great people! Like you!! Thanks for following me on Twitter. I followed you back!

We'll both be famous bloggers one day, and we'll remind each other to remember our roots if one of us happens to find his/her head stuck up his/her own ass. :)

Christy said...

I have mixed feelings about this issue sometimes. First of all, I am NOT blogging to beat Dooce (as if I could) so I don't have any "strategy." I started blogging to get back into writing and I've found this whole other thing--connecting with other people who are going through some of the same shit I am.

A lot of people say blogging is "clicky" and I guess it can be, but then sometimes I think too that maybe it's just like real life and you come across some people that you just don't click with (is that where "clicky" came from?) It's not they don't have something to say or that they don't have a "good" blog, but there's others out there that you just "get" better...I don't know.

That said, I do think it's polite to try to check out commenters' blogs and comment when you can; but I know I don't want someone to put me on their blogroll just because they're on mine--it feels like cheating.

I think you're awesome--you're honest and funny and who cares if BHJ doesn't get it? He's just a character anyway, remember? LOL

T said...

Wow. Yeah, I have to agree that it can be cliquey... but you should also remember not to take it personally. If he's so popular, he may simply not have the time. (you know me... I always give the benefit of the doubt).

You rock TC. Don't let anyone ever tell you (or not tell you) differently.

Mwah!

Kat said...

I have mixed emotions about it all. I want lots of comments. I'll never have as many as Pioneer woman. And I've never read Dooce. But, my conflict comes in with trying to have a life. And doing things that might actually be blog worthy rather than sitting here reading and commenting all day. But, I have to give love, to get love. Such a catch 22.

I have stopped reading some blogs that didn't seem to come to mine anymore. I like reciprocation. But, then I get back to my first issue.

Oh, and thanks for leaving 37 comments today. Are you going for the shock and awe method of introducing yourself? :-)

Rhea said...

First off, Tent Camper, I'm on to you. You're trying to take my title as Sunshine and Lemonade's Top Commenter, and I'm not putting up with that. Helllll, NO, man. Back off.

Secondly, good for you for calling him out. There are lots of bloggers who get too big for their britches and do this. It's ANNOYING.

Rhea said...

Thank you so much for all the comment love today. It was really sweet, both you and Insane Mama made me smile. :o)

Now back off Sunshine and Lemonade's comments. You...you... Napoleononicblogger comment conquerer.

browerfamilyof5 said...

I had no idea when I started blogging how crazy it is out there. I never would have known if it weren't for other bloggers enlightening me and BlogHer.
I feel like I'm in high school again, only I was better at high school.
I love comments, adore them actually, but I admit I don't always comment back. And even though I'm small potatoes (I'll never be famous, but if I can manage to blog without being reported to social services, then I'm cool with that), reading this inspired me to do a bit more with it because I would never want to be perceived as rude. I never not comment to be rude (did that make any sense?), but it seems as soon as I sit down someone needs Kool-Ade or their ass wiped. Geez.
So, with that being said, I think it's great you let it all hang out and just for that I'll DEFINATELY be back. And I'll comment. ;)

Swirl Girl said...

You seem to have challenged him to a bloggy duel of sorts.

Are you there Black Hockey Jesus?
Oh- give us a sign that you read and pitch your tent here before he pees in your windy vagina!!!

maybe that little nudge will work.

(he's left me exactly one comment and I read him daily, too. I was thrilled that he read my little humble blog)

HappyHourSue said...

Does it help at all that i know who you are but i've never heard of black Hockey jesus? As far as Dooche goes, I already wrote a post about her and her fancy book deals.

Just take the high road and never visit him again. :)

Molly said...

I never read Dooce and don't understand the fascination. Lately I feel like a blue arsed fly running from blog to blog to blog to keep up with people who comment on my blog because I think it is only fair you comment back. But there are some days when I just don't get around to everyone and I feel guilty. Then there are some days I say, fuck it, and just go drink a martini or three!

preTzel said...

Boy, I totally feel like an asshole right now.

I don't get around to the blogs like I did over the summer and it totally bums me out. I use to have the time to sit all day and comment, comment, post, post, comment, comment, comment, comment, post and comment. Now? I'm lucky if I can come home and take a good ol' dump, let the dog out, feed and water my two gay parakeets, avoid the rabid cat, make dinner, do some laundry, and post on my own blog.

It makes me sad when I see the comments on my own blog and I'm not finding the time to visit all the others. I too am lacking in this department. I try to use the weekends to make up for it but my system has been down and just got back up and so now I have to work double time to make up for my lackluster attempt at commenting.

I'm sorry. Truly. I'll try to do better. (And I'm not saying this sarcastically in anyway. I think you and IM ROCK! and I love hearing from you, reading you, and leaving comments.

PS: BHJ has never once visited my blog but I do love to read him from time to time so I do. :)

for a different kind of girl said...

I can't say how others go about their blogging and commenting, but I know that I try to get to the blogs of those who kindly visit and comment on mine. I'll admit that, because of life and other commitments, it sometimes takes me longer than I would like to visit, but I want to at least take the opportunity to extend a thank you (and cringe a little inside if, when that thank you arrives, the person receiving it wonders why the hell I'm saying it because they don't recall visiting me!).

I also try to read several posts in the blogs of those who visit, and sometimes I find some great new connections with people. I don't always comment on every post written by those I read, and I believe this to be vice versa with some who read me. It's not because I don't appreciate the effort they took, sometimes I just don't think I can add anything to the conversation, as it were. We all know that not every blog out there is going to be our cups of tea, and that's ok. Sometimes the one or two things we write here and there strikes a chord with someone who has found us in whatever fashion, and they leave the comment, and that's all they want. I can respect that. Also, there are days I turn the computer on, see all the blogs in my Reader lit up, and I have to walk away (or perhaps pare down, but I've not gotten to that yet). Kids, work, life, etc., also make me turn away, because as much as I dig the life of blogging, I dig what's going on on the other side of my screen more.

I've recently had the pleasure of 'meeting' you via your blog, and I've enjoyed reading your posts. You may not always have a comment from me, but you can trust I'm reading (when I'm not too intimidated by the lit up Reader, that is!) because I added you to my Reader after you kindly paid me a visit!

TentCamper said...

I know that we are all busy and have lives...that is not really what I am sayig...It is more that if you have regular readers/commenters...get to them once in a while. Not every day...but once in a while. It is the people who NEVER comment back tha are pissing me off.

Mamahut said...

Hey Tenter, does it make you feel better that I read you and IM everyday? I just don't know what to say some days...usually my cheeks are hot and flushed when I leave...BUT I am here every day. We do love you guys. I have never heard of the black jesus? Is that what you called him? What ever he is not a Tenter and IM.

Ms. Single Mama said...

You got me here.

Came out of sheer guilt because you've been leaving so many comments on my blog. But I actually really like yours too... and I'll be coming back.

But please, please remember that crazy, busy single moms such as myself often read blogs but don't leave comments.

I just don't ever want you to hate me. Couldn't deal with that.... because you're dating a single mom, that means we're tight.

Kisses.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Oh man. This hurts my heart because I know people think this about me. It's touchy.

I keep every single comment in my email so that I can go through them and be sure to comment back...but if I miss a day or two I totally fall behind. I know I've lost readers, but I've just got to keep writing what I want to write and hope that if people like what they are reading they will come back.

I guess in the end if you know you are doing the best you can to keep up then that's all you can do. Period. The people who leave comments on my blog are so genuine and funny...it is guaranteed that I will visit them back...just maybe not in the time-liest fashion...

Ack. My heart hurts.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Your Welcome! and Ditto!

- Jennifer

Avitable said...

Are you fucking kidding me?

This has to be one of the whiniest, most petulant posts I've ever read.

There are people who read my blog through a feedreader who have never commented. That's their prerogative. There are people who comment once every six months. Whatever. That's how blogging works. I try to read every blogger who comments on my site, but with a full-time job, an active life, and a blog, I only have the time to actually comment on a small percentage of them.

If you only comment on blogs who comment on yours and expect that type of quid pro quo, you should just give up now and go write in a handwritten journal.

Jesus Christ.

that girl said...

Hmm..this is sticky. See I'm the ditz that just commented on there about "haters" and such..before I knew he was referencing something specific..Feeling very stupid and blonde.

I really thought he was getting William Forrester, left field type stuff. And that's the context my comment was left in.

That being said, I know it feels like that sometimes..but here's the thing. I don't know if blogging is some established activity that has rules and etiquette.sp? I kind of drift around sometimes, fall away for a few days..forget to visit sweet sites sometimes..and I'm not even big and important.

But I do understand how that feels..I just don't think it's intentional from most people.

Also, I didn't know about the comment reciprication rule..I'm a bad, bad blogger.

that girl said...

Also, I totally thought this post was going to be about Gustov..He's been in MY coochie for three damn days now and I'm ready for him to leave the cash on the table and get the hell out of here.

Redneck Mommy said...

Shit Tent Camper. You are one of my constant commenters and while I've read you, I haven't dropped a comment.

That isn't b/c I think your blog isn't worth the time of day or the energy it would require to post a comment.

It's b/c most days I have my head so far up my ass I can't possibly think of anything clever to add to the discussion.

If BHJ is anything like me, I think he probably appreciates his readers and all his commenters as much I do, as much as you yourself do with your own blog.

Everybody loves a little reciprocal love. Absolutely. We don't always get it and it stinks. There are bloggers out there who refuse to acknowledge me no matter how loudly I knock at their door. I'm just no their cup of tea.

I'm cool with that. Because ultimately, that isn't what blogging is about for me. It is a tool I use to reach out and find my own inner peace. I love that people read it or comment on it, but I also understand that like everything else, blogging is subjective and not everybody will like everybody else's work.

I have to say though, I find it in really poor taste (and here is where I kiss you good bye because you will probably never read me again) to attack another blogger so publicly like this.

Regardless of stats or comment numbers, BHJ is the same as you and me. A geek with a blog. He is just a dude. A dude with feelings.

It's just bad bloggy etiquette.

(And I say this not as his friend, but as someone who also isn't on his blog roll. I didn't cut the mustard either. Big deal.)

This type of trash talk just leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and makes me sad for everyone involved. This type of post is the complete opposite of why I love blogging.

Good luck Tent Camper. I wish you bloggy joy.

Mama Dawg said...

Ummmmm....just so you know...you do this too.

You used to read me, but apparently no longer.

You used to leave comments on mine, but no longer.

So, before you go getting all pissy w/bigger bloggers, take a look in the mirror.

I'm not trying to start something but it's true.

Stefanie said...

Gotta agree with Redneck and Avitable, blogging is not a popularity contest. If you email someone and they consistantly don't email you back I could understand being a little pissy BUT...you expect a comment back JUST because you comment on another's blog? That's truly wishful thinking. BHJ is getting upwards of 60 comments a day. And he works fulltime. You really expect him to comment on your blog because you comment on his just so he doesn't hurt your feelings? Just don't read his blog. Take him off your blogroll. Whatever. It kills me that people think it's some sort of punishment that you're going to take them off your blogroll. Come on. I read a ton of blogs that have never and will never comment on mine. That would never stop me from reading them or commenting if I have something to say. And I would never in a million years expect anything different from anyone else. This comes off as so bitter and negative.

Backpacking Dad said...

I'm so late to the party that it's almost not worth it to leave a comment.

And I hate that my first comment on your blog (I think it's the first) is like this: Dude, just settle the fuck down.

I like that you leave comments on my blog. I try to comment back on the post itself because I don't always get an e-mail address and it's easier that way.

But it is impossible to visit everybody who leaves a comment. In fact, I sat down one night earlier this week and tried to click through to the blogs of the people who left a comment on one post, and I couldn't do it. You know why? Because I had to feed my daughter. I had to go buy groceries. I had to get out of the apartment before I slipped into a cabin-fever coma and dosed myself with whiskey.

I have to be whimsical about clicking through now, because if I'm programmatic it will feel like a job and the last thing I want this to be is a job.

You cannot, cannot, read anything into the fact that someone has never commented on your blog. If you do you will drive yourself insane for no good reason. Especially if the person you are singling out for the vitriolic vibe is getting anything more than 15 comments per post. When I first started I could click through to everybody, and I added people to my Reader (and thus my blogroll) like fucking hotcakes, because it was new and I was finding out what was out there. But I can't do it anymore. I've probably added one person in the last month.

I hope it's not because I'm an asshole, although I am an asshole. I hope it's just that I've reached the limit of how thinly I can spread myself; that for the most part the people on my list now are people that I know or have come to develop a relationship with.

You can't call someone out for not reciprocating. I know you put a lot of effort into the reading you do and the comments you leave, and you have to realize that it is appreciated. It is. I swear. If you go ahead and assume that it's appreciated even though you don't hear back you will be in a much better place.

I'm sorry you feel dismissed. And I'm sorry that this comment has so much animosity in it. But when I read stuff like this I feel manipulated into interacting.

BHJ doesn't comment here anymore because....I don't know why. And you don't know why. And that's just the nature of the blogging beast. Everyone likes attention and there's only so much attention to go around. It's no affront to me that Dooce has never come by my site although I left her a comment once. In short, you have no right to insist upon attention and to call him out for not giving it to you.

Gah. Seriously. Just calm down. Write if you want to write. Read if you want to read. Bitch if you want to bitch, I suppose. But don't single a guy out for something that's really about YOU and not about him.

Fuck.

excavator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
excavator said...

Hi, Tentcamper.

I'm new to the blogging world and unsure if there's a code of etiquette or not. In a sense it seems like there's a loose give-and-take and things work out pretty well. If there's a quid pro quo rule about comments and reciprocation it kills the spontaneous nature of the exchange.

You got a lot of support for your rant. Respectfully, I can't give you mine...and I'm sorry to introduce myself in this way. This is my first time visit to your blog, and I came because I saw your several comments over on BHJ's recent posts.

I like the premise of your blog, and it seems you have some ardent followers, so I plan to look at some of your other posts. But I don't think this one is a representation of the best of you. I have to agree with the few that think it seems whiny and petulant.

It appears your feelings are hurt, and you can't let it rest, as evidenced by your several posts to BHJ trying to get him to come over and read this. It seems that's better addressed through a private email.

Blogging for me is a reaching out into the world with my wonderings and experience. It fills a need. Comments are frosting on the cake--it's lovely to find there are others who resonate with something I've said. However, comments are strictly optional. I write because it helps me to put my thoughts out there. If someone comments that's wonderful but that's not why I write.

If someone hasn't commented there are any number of reasons. It seems a big leap to assume they used your blog to get traffic to theirs.

BHJ and anyone else doesn't owe you comments. It's up to you to decide if you want to keep visiting someone who doesn't respond, or stop going to their site altogether.

Stacey063 said...

I love to read your blog! I have never commented yet, but thought I'd let you know I am liking your stories and drama.

Jasper Mockingbard said...

I wouldn't worry so much about it. I'm a bigger comment whore than anyone. When my stuff gets little traffic, I disappear for a week or so, to mope and retool my writing style. I still can't figure out why most of the people that visit don't comment. Russ just thinks I'm nuts. But, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.

Your current rival is probably one of many that don't return the love. THAT'S OKAY... I've been there. I'm a fan of that blogger and I post comments, but he has only posted 2 or 3 times on our blog. If I want feedback, I'll email him. If he responds- great. If not, I move on. Aim to please your regular readers and find something else to worry about.

If he actually has a real job, then he may simply be too busy. I know my job and family keep me occupied. I've stopped visiting most of my favorite blogs and use Google Reader. If inspired, I'll make a comment, like I'm doing now.

Have a nice day.

sista #2 said...

Fuck Deuce

Anonymous said...

I don't even know where to begin with this.

First of all, I'm obviously a pussy because I'm commenting annonymously, but then I've been dealing with MAJOR shit on my own blog lately, and frankly, I don't need anymore.

I, once upon a time, made a smartass remark about BHJ on my blog. Contrary to popular belief, I enjoy his blog. I think he's got a bit of a premature ego and gets off on pissing other people off, but that's probably just part of his innate charm.

Anyhow, I got a bit of a tude, because before he started getting too big for his britches I left him a comment asking a question. It wasn't anything important. Just a question. I HONESTLY didn't expect an answer. But in JEST, I poked fun at him on my blog and got this absolutely vitriolic email from someone who had so little grasp of the English language (Hooked on Phonics did NOT work for him!) and was such a total prat that I couldn't help....nay, I HAD TO post the email on my blog. He pretty much told me to eat shit and stop hating on BHJ. What the fuck?

I thought it was singularily the fucking most hilarious piece of shit I'd ever received from a reader.

OK so it got back to BHJ who then went and posted it on HIS blog and I took a bunch of shit over it. Of course he never linked back to me, but I kinda thought that was par for the course.

In the interim I have heard that he thinks I'm a douche, but hey, I don't really care. I still read his blog because, the man can write. He's interesting when he's not pulling a "Picasso of the blogosphere" type deal. Sometimes I read him and think, "what the hell, there's supposed to be a nose there and instead there are two eyes!" And his posts about his children are fucking amazing. Makes it kinda hard to not like the guy. I comment on one of about every 20 of his posts. But then I'm not a great commentor anyhow. I just never feel like I have anything valid to add to the discussion.

And the thing with him only having people on his blogroll who have at least 1000 hits a day...well who can really say they get that many hits? I get between 900-1200 a day, and the comments don't reflect that at all. And it's strange and I can't figure it out and it kinda pisses me off. But then, ya know, they've probably left me a comment in the past and I didn't bother to say thanks or hit their site in return, so perhaps it's just reciprocal karma kicking my big white ass.

I suppose BHJ wants a piece of what those he links to, have. Nothing wrong with that. I guess it's just the way he goes about it that pisses people off.

I think BHJ is perceived as only kissing up to those who can help him up the blogging-world ladder. And perhaps, like a alot of us, he's busy. I don't get around to as many of the blogs who comment on mine as I'd like. I have mixed feelings about it because I feel like I owe them something. But hell, I don't have the time. Seriously. Having a toddler and teenagers, a hubby and a book edit deadline that is looming (whoever said that writing a book was easy ought to be drawn and quartered, it fucking sucks sometimes, especially when it keeps getting kicked back to you because you are too stupid to have corrected what was wrong the first four times!) and somewhere in there I have to fit in time to shower...the rest of the human race would be appreciative if I did.

So yeah, I suck and I'm probably an asshole to boot. But I have good intentions and I hope that counts for something. Of course, if good intentions were horses, then the streets would be covered in horse shit.

My point is, you aren't the first person to feel this way, and you won't be the last. Popularity in the blogging world is fleeting. It evolves and with this evolution come new voices, new writers and new perspectives. At some point, everyone gets their 15 minuntes - even if it's only in their own mind.

Bottom line, this experience, this medium, it is what you make of it. And I hope you make the best of it because from what I've read today, I'd come back and read more of you.

I might not always leave a comment...but I will visit again.

Holy shit this was long. Sorry.

American in Norway said...

I've had a little wind in my vagina... I think it is good... most of the time...

I guess if you are trying to be Dooce...(who I think is way over rated... ) getting your numbers up is important... but if you are blogging for yourself.. therapy... friends... does it really matter? Fu&K 'em

I think you are totally funny.... & I like you... even if you have never left me a comment... Ummm that is OK... (I am totally kidding here...)

Jennifer and Sandi said...

It's all about the validation man. V A L I D A T I O N........ For someone to say "Yes, I know you are there and I appreciate what you have to say". Personally, BHJ scares the shit outta me.........

Lovveeee your site. You rock!

~Sandi~

Mrs Parks said...

Let me start out by saying Dooce is dumb.
I have tried to "do the Dooce" and I just can't get into it.

That being said....

When I first started blogging it was for myself and my family and I never gave a thought to rather anyone liked what I was saying.

When I began lurking around a bit and finding a niche of bloggers I liked and started reading and commenting on a regular basis I learned there were more than a few who didn't giva a SHIT about me or what I had to say and soon learned that most of what they said was shit anyway so I didn't care.

I am always happy to find new blogs through comments left on my favorite regular reads, and YOU are one of those.

Thanks for stopping by The Farm today.
See ya later.

New Age Bitch said...

Meh. Blogging sort of sucks. Do what you can to have fun with it. Oh, and you want a taste of cliquey? One word: BlogHer.

What's weird is that *everybody* is really thinking the same thing, that no one likes them, that they're just hanging out there twisting in the wind, blah blah blah. Even Dooce, PW, BHJ, etc. All bloggers have their insecurities, and if any of them say otherwise they are lying.

 

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