Saturday, August 30, 2008

My Sister Is A Ninja

I going to take you all back to Durham , NH…the year is 1976. I live with my mother, stepfather, 3 sisters, 2 brothers and our Golden Retriever Cinnamon. As you can imagine…the house was ‘hectic.’ Between us siblings…someone was always fighting. For the most part it was pretty amusing. I’m second oldest, I have an older sister, so I caused, instigated or was the bully in many of the fights. Some fights were physical, some emotional but they were ALL quite the show.

I have a memory of my youngest brother so mad at me(just for making fun of him) he swooped up the iron fire poker and chased me all over the house…until I was able to maneuver into my parent’s room (the only room in the house with a door that locks.) That made no difference because about 5 seconds later, after I hear some banging…I see the tip of the fire poker as it is smashing through the door. I had to jump from the second story to avoid that encounter.

On another sunny New Hampshire day…my middle brother and sister were going at it. I don’t even remember what it was all about…but what I do remember is that IT went on ALL day. At dinner that night, while our mom was still in the kitchen about to bring out our food, the two of them started up again. My brother was sitting at one end of our long table and my sister on the opposite side, in hopes that the arguing would cease. My brother kept egging her on and jabbing at her…That is until…out of nowhere, she picked up her fork and threw it (ninja style) across the table…the fucking thing hit my brother square between the eyes…and actually stuck there for 4 or 5 seconds…til we heard it clanking to the floor. ALL of us (mother included) just sat there, stunned, jaws on the floor…and wide-eyed.
After that night…we all thought twice about pushing middle sister too far. That was a scary little 8 year old.


Tami said...

Good thing she wasn't a little older.....she would have had some PMS strength to mix with the Ninja strength and your poor bro would have had to go to the hospital to get it removed!

Insane Mama said...

I remember when you first told this story to me do you? It was shortly after meeting my entire family and I believe it was Father's day and you told that story when my whole family was there. Do you remember my grandma cracking up? I think this is the funniest story ever!
Oh, and thanks for making me all teary eyed remembering my grandma's laugh.

amelia bedelia said...

Awesome! Our supper table was boring, we just played "pass the secret"!

Stephanie said...

How do I get a hold of her so she can teach me that trick?

Candid Carrie said...

My ninja skill is to use the space between my front teeth. I can control my aim and create one narrow stream.

Back in the day we went to a basement bar, thirteen steps below ground, and people would actually bet money (and I would win) because I could stand at the bottom of the steps and spitfire me beer to the top step landing. Never got another step wet in between. I could spitfire directly at someone across a circular bar, too.

I can identify with your ninja sister. You are best to befriend her. And me.

Philly said...

Coming from 9 kids, our dinners were fucking free for alls !!


Rhea said...

OMG, that's scary. She must have been ANGRY. Did he need stitches or anything?

I knew a little boy who threw scissors at his older brother...and he ended up needing stitches...and no one messed with him again. lol

I would pee in my pants if my brother or sister was coming after me with a poker...and saw it coming through the DOOR! SHIIITE.

Swirl Girl said...

My older brother used to chase me with the pitchfork thing from the fireplace.

If he had known he could have inflicted pain at the dinner table, life would not have been the same for Me!

collenisofficalyblogging said...

my friend has a huge scar on his thigh, thanx to his younger brother, the boy slashed him with a machete, it was scary


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