Nothing Neighborly About My Hood

I will start by saying that I live in a very nice, safe and …sort of upscale neighborhood and love our proximity to the ocean (7 blocks.) This is great and good for the kids. They can walk to the beach, shopping, schools…and we have no need to worry about their safety.

The one thing that has lodged itself beneath my skin is how different this neighborhood is from the one that I grew up in. As a kid, I remember knowing everyone in the neighborhood. My parents knew everyone and got together for dinner or drinks with them regularly. We, as kids, would cruise around and go door to door hanging out with each other. It was a very comfortable feeling…one of community and friendliness.

Here on the other hand, no matter how hard we try, our neighbors SUCK!!!! Even on our block…nobody hangs outside. Nobody is invited to anyone’s BBQs or get-togethers. There is not even a “hello” while walking down the street. We may get a little head nod, but I just don’t get it.

This is a house that Mariah grew up in and her family has been here for more than 25 years…still nothing. There are a few kids on the block that are the same age as our kids…yet none of them play together. Some of the adults are our age, yet socializing is unheard of. What the fuck?!

The only neighbor that is friendly and eager to talk and be involved is the family directly next door…but they barely speak English. They are Chinese and the language barrier is more of a brick wall than a barrier. Mr. Neighbor does come over when he sees me outside, to spark up random little conversations (which is nice and I do appreciate the effort) but often I think that we both get a bit frustrated with our inability to communicate effectively.

As an example (because it just happened) he asked me and I had to try to explain about TPing. (Some girls who have a crush on our son snuck over the other night and did their best to cover our hedge and tree out front with toilet paper.) Mr. Neighbor was concerned, so I had to explain that it was all in fun and that it was something that young teens do as a sign of affection and playfulness. This conversation was one that lasted at least 30 minutes and was primarily me talking and him nodding with a blank look on his face.

Anyway…we have been seriously considering moving. We love the area we are in but this un-neighborly neighborhood that we are in is a shitty feeling that is too hard to shake. I would, quite frankly, rather live in a trailer park in tornado alley with neighbors who hung out together, looked after one another and were just plain neighborly.

Enough venting for me…for now…I have to pee!

Coolest Daddy Blogger!

I was just informed that I was nominated at Label Daddy as one of the coolest Daddy bloggers of the year. That is right…I am reaching out to you all for your support. Go there and nominate me!! I am actually not sure what I would win…but that does not really matter…It would just be the whole prestige thing.

Anyway, go nominate me and tell all of your friends to do the same. As a thank you…I will send you naked photos write a post about you and how great you are. I know you all like that link love.

And a special thanks to Annette for being the first to nominate me!!!!

Kids Are A Reflection

As a parent, I can say that I find it funny how much you can tell about the parenting by the attitude of kids. I truly think that when you encounter those smart-ass kids with disrespectful attitudes and a filthy mouth…it is the parents’ fault. Those bratty kids that whine and can’t do a damn thing on their own…parents’ fault. The kids failing at school…parents’ fault. The trouble makers, the bullies, the sissies, the druggies and the sluts…all the parents’ fault. Yes….there are exceptions, but for the most part I think that much of the above can and could be quickly sqashed if the parents act quickly and tend to their kids the way a parent should.

This also goes the other way. You know when you meet that kid who seems 5 years older than they really are. The one’s that consistently say please and thank you. The one’s who do well in school. The ones that surround themselves with decent friends. The ones who enjoy being home as much as going out with friends. The ones who, by nature, offer respect to elders and don’t talk back.

You meet those kids and suddenly wonder what you could do to get your kids to act more like them…”Have I done something wrong? Why doesn’t my kid act like that?”

Yes…you guessed it. I am talking about Mariah and her kids. For any parent…or Mother for that matter, there is no better compliment than someone telling you how great a job you have done in raising such well rounded and wonderful children.

I am saying this to you Mariah. You have done the impossible. You’ve raised 4 great kids who all have the ‘good’ qualities that I mentioned above. No matter how you feel about yourself on any given day. Know that you have successfully out-parented 90% of the nation.

Happy Mother’s Day M-Cool !!!!!!!!

Do adults with children have friends?

I don’t know if I just have this whole adult/parent thing all jumbled up in my head…or if what this post is gong to (hopefully) be about is legitimate.

I’ve had conversations with Mariah before about this but it seems that I never really have my thoughts straight. I am talking about having friends. Do adults with children have friends? Are said parents just friends with whoever their kids’ friends’ parents are?

I don’t know if parents are supposed to have friends, in the same manner that they did before having kids. If they are, do they go out for a drink or to catch a movie with said friends? Or do they just sit and socialize while their respective kids are having ‘play dates?’

I know that as an adult and as a parent, that the mundane things like working, feeding, clothing and caring for your children top the priority list, but I still can’t help feeling friendless. There are a few guys (yes…they are parents of some of our kids’ friends) that I like and love to ‘hang’ with. But with all of our personal and kids’ schedules all it ever seems to be is 15 minutes of shooting the shit while picking up or dropping off a kid. Is that they way it is supposed to be? Am I diluted to think that more is to be expected?

I suppose that it is not that big of a deal right now due to the fact that I do not have the time in the evening…or the money to go grab a few beers and catch a movie with my dad friends…but if I did…is that what people do?

A few months ago I tried to set up a guys’ poker night at my house. I wanted to start with a few guys once a month. After emailing 7 neighborhood dads…I got one that said he could do it…not the makings of a good poker night. I guess I just need to admit defeat and disregard my thoughts of having friends outside of our kids’ world.

No matter how many times I tell the kids, “It is not all about you!” I am the one that is full of shit. It IS all about the kids. I guess I am answering my own original question here and now am starting to understand that whole mid-life-crisis thing. Suck it up, do the kid thing and then once the kids are out of the house and off in the world making their marks…that is when we (parents) begin to reclaim our lives and try to pick up where we left off (before kids.)

Don’t get me wrong…I love the kids and love doing everything that I can to make them happy and loved. This has just been one of those nagging things bouncing around in the back of my skull for a while. …I guess I have rambled enough about this and if it made no sense to you…..whatever…I feel better just getting it out.

You know me….just peeing in the wind!!!!