Monday, April 13, 2009

The English Language Sucks!

I know that it has been a while since I last posted, but there has just been a lot going on in my life lately. Not to mention my latest issue.

The kids are off visiting with their father and the house is virtually empty. These are the times that I reserve to get some shit done around the house. The project at the top of my list right now, though not a huge one, is the cause for both anxiety and deep thought.

The project itself is simple…repair the leak in our shower. Remove the shower knob. Remove and replace worn inner part(s). Re-attach knob and seal. Simple…yes, I know.

The issue is as follows: I have no caulk. (No…I did not say COCK…I said caulk.) This is where the anxiety comes in. I hate the fact that I have to walk into my local hardware store and ask the burly guy that runs the place if he has caulk. What do you say? “Excuse me…I am looking for caulk.” “Do you have caulk?” “Where can I find caulk?” “Do you have light brown caulk? My wife does not want white caulk.”

What the fuck is wrong with the guy who invented and named caulk? Wouldn’t you think that he’d know how it sounds and that the majority of people buying it would be plumbers, builders, DIY “manly men” and the such? He could have just named it; goop or sealer or even sticky shit. (Although there may be similar issues with “sticky shit.”

So basically, I have not started my project and have a feeling that before I do, I will be down at the hardware store scanning the aisles for the caulk display as so this manly mo fo will not need to inquire with anyone about caulk.

I even thought about sending Mariah to make the purchase…but I know her. She would have too much fun with it and would be all, “Excuse me big boy….can you show me your caulk? I need some very badly.” OH HELL NO….I ain’t with all that!

9 Comments:

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL...Mariah would have a lot of fun with that! I think I might volunteer to buy the "Caulk" next time!

Chandra said...

Only a man who truly knows his "caulk' can ask about another mans 'caulk"...boy I could go on and on and on with this one!

Stephanie said...

Is there a certain texture to the caulk? What do you have to do to make the caulk harden? Can anyone handle the caulk, or does it require special training? Do you need to wear protection, i.e. goggles or gloves, before using the caulk? Can more than one person handle the caulk at the same time?

I have so many questions...

ChocDrop said...

How about asking for some brown 'caulk' for your wife?? hee hee

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh ... sadly I would have asked my father if he had any 'caulk' on hand. That's just really really BAD! I wouldn't have thought anything of it, which is probably a good thing! lol!

Paula aka. Zani said...

Oh come on.. let Mariah do it! LOL

Cameron said...

Dude, just walk in and announce, at the top of your lungs, "I know caulk and lots of it."

* TONYA * said...

LMAO.

Oh please send Mariah with a hidden camera. That would make for hilarious blogging.

his badassness said...

Just overpronounce the shit out of the L. Got caullllllllk?

 

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