Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Confucius Vs. Dr. Phil

I don’t know about you but recently I have been having some issues with the sayings like, “Money can’t buy love.” and “Money doesn’t equal happiness."

I know that literally they are true, but at the core of what they mean….I have always thought it to be… without the ‘pad’ of money, it is much easier to feel/experience what love really is.

Now…Philosophers and ‘wise men’ may say these things, while at the same time, psychologists and socioeconomic studies say the complete opposite. “The lack of money and financial hard times are proven to be the root of a great deal of divorce, break ups, and household dysfunction.”


With the economy, lack of work and rising costs of having 6 kids (schools, groceries, movies, ice cream, birthday gifts, etc., etc.) The ‘lack of funds’ is proving to have a devastating effect on our whole house.

Mariah and I worry about ‘making it’ through the month, while the kids, increasingly, need things - and we don't need the kids worrying about our money situation. Continually telling the kids that we can’t afford it or that it will have t wait kind of puts a damper on their day and makes them wonder how stable our family really is. Meanwhile, Mariah and my stress levels rise and it tends to come out in the form of a cold, angry, or unhappy attitude…which then equates to the Gods pissing on our ‘flame.’

I love Mariah. I love all of the kids. I love the time we are able to spend together. I love what we have. But these days it seems that, whether it is Mariah and I or one of us with one of ( or a group of ) the kids…tempers are short, attitudes uneasy and the lovey, cuddly sides of us all are pushed aside from the stress. I feel like at any given time…someone in the house is in a foul mood…and does everyone else have the right to be cheery and happy?

I miss the constant smiles that we all once shared. I miss the spontaneous love making. I miss the luxury of being able to take Mariah out for an evening.

I want it all back!

I know that it is all part of being an adult, being a parent, being out of work and struggling through hard times…but it is plaguing me and I fucking hate it!!!!


SweetPeaSurry said...

Hey you ... that sounds like my parent's house on a holiday!!!

I was talking with my mom the other day and we both agreed that it doesn't matter how much money you make, you're going to spend it on what you spend it on. So if you have little, you spend it on necessities, if you have more ... you spend it on more things that you deem to be necessary. It's all relative, but at the core of it, is family, values, love, respect and admiration.

Blessings and chin up!

ChocDrop said...

You have to keep your head up. Times may be hard but you can't shield the kids from it forever at the expense of your relationship. They need to understand that times are hard and they need to learn how to deal with it in a loving relationship with communication.

You can do it!!!!

Swirl Girl said...

Tenter - I have to honestly say the ONLY thing Hubby and I fight about is money or the lack of it, mismanagement of it, need for it, worries about it, the future without it. On the flip side - we seem to have so much fun doing things that cost absolutely nothing. So why don't we do more of that?? Dunno.

I think it is indeed the root of evil, not all evil -

Tracy said...

All those perky little "money can't buy happiness" statements are generally made by people who have enough of it in the first place.

If you are constantly battling to pay for the necessities and having to go without or have the kids go without then it absolutely sucks and is aded strain & pressure on everyone.

I hope thisng get better for you guys soon.

Danielle said...

I personally hate the saying that Money can't make you happy. Bull shit. Lack of it certainly can screw things up royaly. I am sorry that you guys are going through this. It plain and simply SUCKS! I do beieve that you can "Fake it till you make it" though. Put on a smile and have spontanious sex when ever you guys can. You can at least get some enjoyment out of a sucky situation.
Keep your head up.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I can't tell u how to make it better as much as I wish I could... But I do want to say coming from a family of six kids and my parents literally having NO money... I don't reflect on the money, first thing that comes to mind is laughter...we laughed all.the.time.

After the umpteen time of our power being shut off my parents got creative and we "camped" inside... We had an old fireplace and we roasted marshmallows and slept in sleeping bags and played flashlight tag... Some of the best memories were created from our "hard times"


Jack said...

I feel your pain and I mean that literally. I hate having to tell the kids that we can't afford it.

Lately I just tell them that we choose to spend our money differently.

nitebyrd said...

You're frustration, anger and sadness are felt and understood. I want to scream most everyday.

Johnny Depp has given me my new favorite quote:

"Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a big yacht so you can get right up to it."

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry TentCamper. It's a rough feeling and I understand it well. Here's hugs for you ...

Mariah said...

It does suck, you're right! I think kwhen the kids go back to school things will calm down a bit and we can get creative.

My favorite saying: It's not going to matter what kind of car I drove or how huge of a house we lived in, the kids will remember us home, with them. (or something like that)

Anyway, we are building memories and we are HERE! That's what matters!


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