Cool, Creepy, Scary...I don't know

As IM and I were walking on the sidewalk in front of our house, we paused to look up at the big spider web that we have been passing for the last week. Every day, the web was getting a little bigger, but we never saw the spider. I am...not so into spiders, but in this house…you do NOT kill (or even “relocate”) spiders. (more on that…see Insane Mama.)

Tonight, there it was….a monster! Simultaneously, we both jumped back, as if we were in “Attack of the Killer Spiders” and the thing was going to jump onto our faces and suck our brains out through our noses. We stepped back and I knew I’d have to photograph this one. I ran inside to get the camera…and of course our 9 year old. Christie is one of those….nutty, animal-freak kids. We remove “unwanted” critters from her room on a daily basis. Snails, lady bugs, worms, rollie pollies…anything she can catch. Christie is that girl who would need therapy if she (even by accident) stepped on an ant.

I asked her if she wanted to go see the big spider while I took pictures. She was out the front door before I had a chance to turn around. We walked up to where the spider was, I pointed, she looked up and (with her mouth gaping open said, …”Oh My.” I started taking pictures (knowing I had to get the perfect shot for you all. Once I had about 5 shoots, I showed them to Christie who responded to me with…”Wow! He’s HUGE!”...(then I got to a good close up) she looked at the picture and then turned to me and said, “That’s sep-spatula…I mean scepatula…um….slaptulaR. Wait, what is that word?” I responded “spec tac u lar”
“Yeah! That’s it!”

Then I said…...”Hey, let’s go check out the one on the other side of the house.” We trotted down the driveway to the side of the house, Christie chanting under her breath, “spectacular, sptcatipillar, ...UH… do you think this one is gonna be as big?”

Chuckling, I said, “Hold on to your britches Little One….we’re about to find out.”
As we turned the corner, we looked up to the web (that we had really only seen from far away …until now. We (both of us with jaws dragging the floor) stared and as I said, “Holy Mackerel” she barked (like an army sergeant), “That thing is a...MONSTER!”

I clicked away and now, even though I have some cool photos, I don’t even know what kind of spiders these are. I kinda hope that one of these super-sized, creepy-assed spiders bites me. I'd be the ultimate Spider-Man!!!!!!

But...since all of you seem to think that IM kicked my butt…..can I at least kick Carrie’s Toad’s ass with “My Spider Invaders?”