Divorce Court - Part 2 Of A Gazillion

We got right into the courthouse and made our way to the mediation office. We were there before IB. Ha ha ha. I filled out my paperwork and walked Mama out to the courtyard to sip some coffee and wait for the mediation part to be over. As I walked back inside the courthouse and started up the hall to mediation to wait to be called, I spotted IB. Flashes and spinning took over. It was like the fourth of July inside my head. Not for the reasons you may think though. It was mostly…”Damn she is NASTY. Is THAT who I married? That tight, ugly dress makes her look even worse.” Anyway… I was almost not almost…I was embarrassed to let strangers (let alone IM) know that I was married to …whatever that is. I instantly sat down and texted IM “My God! She’s like a satanic Rhino. Big nasty pig!”

I then was called into the mediation office for my meeting. The mediator had me sit down and then proceeded with the “interview.” It went something like this:

Mediator: So when is your court date? (as if it was not written on the forms I jus handed to her)
Me: This morning
Mediator: Why did you want to meet separately from the petitioner? It can go a lot quicker if you are in here together.
Me: We tried that last year and it was a mess.
Mediator: Ok, what would you like to accomplish today in mediation?
Me: Well…I just want to have “fair visitation” with my two boys.
Mediator: What does that mean to you?
Me: What I would like is 1st 3rd and 5th weekends as well as splitting school holidays and breaks.
Mediator: Do you know what SHE is asking for?
Me: Yes, her lawyer sent me a threatening letter, just the other day, along with their request. I’ll show it to you

Excerpt from said letter –
In an effort to expedite resolution of this issue, we have prepared the enclosed
Stipulation re: Modification of Child Custody and for Monitored Visitation; [Proposed] Order. We are hopeful that you will agree that this is in the best interests of all parties, especially your sons. If the stipulation is acceptable, please sign and date where your name is indicated and return the signature page to us immediately.

As you know, the hearing on Ms.XXXX's OSC is set for Tuesday, June 10, 2008. In order to avoid having to appear at that hearing, we must receive the signed Stipulation no later than noon on Monday, June 9, 2008.

We want you to be aware of the fact that if the hearing proceeds on June 10, 2008, we are compelled to inform the Court that you are in violation of your probation. (I will explain in another post some time.)

Mediator: Well….that’s just lawyers
Me: Are you kidding me? Isn’t that bribery or considered a threat?
Mediator: Well…I don’t know.
Me: Well, that is the way I see it.
Mediator: Why is she asking for supervised visitation?
Me: Because I failed to show up for a drug test (now if I did drugs…maybe it would have been worth it…but I don’t…maybe I should …whatever.
Mediator: Well that is pretty serious and it was against the court order.
Me: Well I was told by the courts that what transpired in court last June was not legal until her (punk-ass) attorney filed the Final Judgment, which he never did. Then I was told later on by an office at the court house that the judge granted the divorce, but that there were no orders on file.
Mediator: Well, if the judge ordered it…it’s an order. And the drug test thing is a serious violation.
Me: Maybe if I were doing drugs it would be, but it seems like you are treating me as guilty of drug use.. and you don’t even know me.
Mediator: Failure to go is like a positive result.
Me: ….OK, well I think we are done here. (and I stood up and waited for her to escort me out.)

I went back outside to find Mama and found her “loitering” in front of the women’s bathroom. I did not even ask.

We walked outside while I explained to her what had just gone on.

More to come.......