Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Vomit Call

Originally, I started this blog to post some of the stupid stuff that goes on in my life…but after thinking about it…it is kind of scary how much of my life really seems like I am pissing in the wind. And the saga begins…

Have you ever had a phone call where you instantaneously felt the need to vomit, poop, pee, fart, cry and scream all at the same time? That is the call I got the other day.

Sitting at my desk, the phone rang. I picked up. (the description from my wife was) my eyes went bloodshot and teary, mouth gaped open, face turned to stone and I began to sweat profusely as I sunk into my chair. I guess I then began to talk as if I had a mouthful of vomit and that my side of the conversation was limited to one syllable gurgling sounds. On the other end of the phone was my natural mother! HOLY F!!!! I am 40 years old and was adopted when I was 10 days old. Here comes the vomit again just thinking about it. Not that I did not like the call but I literally thought I had to run and change my pants.

I know that there are a lot of adopted people out there and that you never really know how things will work out until you just do it. Well…forget peeing in the wind. This one was more like peeing straight up and letting it come down all over my head. I think I’m going to go throw up….or poo …or both.

More later

10 Comments:

Carrie said...

1. How did you find me?
2. I also have six kids.
3. I am not adopted, but I wish I was.
4. I have adopted two kids and I am in the process of adopting two more.
5. I've always wondered what that phone call would feel like. Nice description.

TentCamper said...

I found you through our mutaual "insane" friend Insane Mama

The adoption thing has never really been a big issue for me. I knew the situation behing the adoption and knew that it was for the best. Even though Ihave 6 ...we've talked about adopting 1 or two more. :)
By the end of the call we agreed to meet. She is going to be on the West Coast so we are going to "bite the bullet."

Carrie said...

Keep all of us posted, that is "posted" with a capital Pee.

LiteralDan said...

Wow, I can only imagine what that phone call would be like. Nice job making it humorous even though you are probably a mess inside.

K8E said...

Wow! I thought I'd had some heart-stopping phone calls. Keep us updated!

SherE1 said...

That is CRAZY! And your description of the shock you experienced: CLASSIC! Can't wait to hear how the meeting turns out!

BTW - thanks for stopping by and dropping a comment! =)

insane mama said...

That is one call, like Dan said, way to keep it humorous... I'm sure you are all kinds of freaked out right now. Go have a drink and for goodness sake change your pants

Sheri said...

Wow - now, I'm adopted, but have not made any effort to find my natural mother. I can't even imagine getting a phone call like that!

TentCamper said...

Yeah, it has been....odd. And now my head is spewing out this constant stream of ideas (one more rediculous than the other) of what to say or do when we met. I have to really settle down...i wish i smoked pot or something. :)

Kandace said...

God, it make me want to throw up just thinking about it.

 

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