Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Insanely Peeing In The Wind - Part 2

After lunch was over, everyone would go out to one of the outdoor common areas to talk, play cards, talk on their cell phones and lounge about. A bunch of us had formed a pretty tight “clique” and we all like to sit around playing cards while ragging on each other, having farting and burping contests and talking about the inept doctors (there were several.) Then girl 2 (you should know by now that I am talking about Insane Mama) came out to the deck and asked to watch us play. She joined us and then it was not long before she became a permanent member of “the insane dozen.”

Over the next day or two, I had an opportunity to walk and talk with her about why we were there and about our pasts, etc. Our lives could almost be twins. There were so many things that we had in common; our marriages, our histories with sexual assaults, binge drinking, children, family issues….it was just perfect. We began talking every day…several times. We grew very close to one another and I think that the trust and comfort that I felt towards her was mutual. We talked about everything… I even talked to her about my being sexually assaulted about a dozen years before. That was something that I had never talked to anyone about. I felt THAT comfortable with her.

I knew that she was special. I smiled every time I saw her and every morning could not wait to see her. Nights were a mess because we were separated and my head filled with fantasies, thoughts and images … all about her. I know that she (and most of the people at the hospital) knew how I felt about her. I guess it was obvious by my bringing her flowers, breakfast in bed and slipping her poems at every chance.

This bond that we formed was more special to me than one would think. I had learned, over the past 15 years, that talking to, spending time with and especially bonding with other women was strictly forbidden. Not to mention, the fact that prior to meeting my wife, I honestly had little respect for the girls that I dated. I know that this is going to make me out to be an ass, but it is the truth. I dated a lot of girls over the years and NEVER talked with them about feelings, my past or anything at all that would make me emotionally vulnerable. I hope that my point is getting across to you all… I really wanted to talk to her…and listen to her. I was completely amazed by the fact that I never even attempted to put up any walls between her and I.

There was a special bond between us and I did not want to ruin it by forcing anything. I continued fanaticizing about her and knew that she did about me, we exchanged some of them that we wrote down in the form of letters and poems. I was HOT for her. All I wanted was to be with her every minute of every day. We took long walks at every chance and it seemed that our thoughts and emotions just oozed from our mouths as we held hands and threw wanting glances back and forth. We discussed some of the most troubling and emotional things that we’d been through. I would open up with something earth-shatteringly (??) deep, revealing my innards to her…expecting to, yes, vomit all over her from fear and anxiety of her reaction. But what I found is that it actually made me want her (physically) even more. Is it wrong to get horny from that?

Our relationship deepened on many levels and the touching, holding hands, lustful and loving glances were soon joined by some of the most meaningful kisses that I could ever imagine.

To Be Continued...


Anonymous said...

You and your wife make me want to cry with your stories! I love them!!

Anonymous said...

InMa sent me here. I didn't want to be over here but her description made me click on your link.

I was attempting to leave her a comment, but I was unable. The rawness pulled at my abiliity to control my own mouse.

As my mouse slid over to your link I couldn't control myself. I clicked.

So help me God, Tenter, if I catch anything from you I will not forgive you, ever. I wasn't expected to fall for you that fast. I wasn't prepared.

But I am in control now and I am prepared. Hungry for more.

Using a mousepad for my own safety.

Please post again soon. I am hot for your writing.

Stephanie said...

I'm hooked on Insane Mama, and now I'm hooked on you.

Is it wrong that I was panting while reading this post?

Teri said...

I love the two-sides-offered stories you and IM have going on. Such a great story. I'm happy for you both.

Rhea said...

I am LOVING hearing this story from both side. You guys are really great at sharing your story, and I love the main message I'm hearing so far, which is sharing your past, communication and loving each other despite faults. Wonderful!

iPost said...

Holy shit. You guys need to write a freakin' book!

Dana said...

what great stories you and your wife have!! I could sit all day and read what you have to write!

Insane Mama said...

Oh Carrie, do you really think we will fall for your annonymous nonsense? your writing is too tell tale

Lula! said...

I was gonna comment on this unfolding love story, but then I read CARRIE's comment and laughed out loud. Then I laughed harder 'cause Mariah outed her. HUH-larious.

christie said...

Your story is amazing. I think its so wonderful when you can find that perfect puzzle piece- like you didn't even realize it was missing until you found it.
Yeh, I'm not one that is good with the "words" like you and IM.


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