Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Am SOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD!!!!!!!!

I am completely freaked the fuck out right now!!! I woke up about 30 minutes ago from a horrifying nightmare. I don’t know where I was but I was being attacked by birds. They kept swooping down and pecking at my head and face. It was all that I could do to swat them away. I was able to catch a few as they came in, and would just twist their heads around until I felt them snap. After taking out a half dozen or so, I saw a huge flock flying in….and that is when I woke up.

But when I did…I found Mariah’s bird Sammy…dead….in a crumpled pile next to me.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? Mariah is out back with her grandmother and has been since early this morning….she must have brought the bird up to our room earlier and…. OH SHIT! I don’t know what I am going to say to her when she gets in. SHIT FUCK!!!!!



APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 Comments:

Southern Sage said...

Fry the bird.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Sage...that's exactly what I was going to say.

TentCamper said...

seriously guys.....WTF am I going to say to her? I can't even run out to get a new one cuz it won't whistle the same shit.

OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME

Mike said...

First call the cops. Then while they're coming tell her the truth. At least they'll be there to pull her off of you.

T said...

Are you goin' all April Fool's on us, TC?

If not, yep, you're dead.

**playing Taps**

nitebyrd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nitebyrd said...

Apparently the bird was not caged. It could have touched/bit, whatever and triggered the dream. It was an accident. Sad, tragic and weird but still an accident.

Tell Mariah what happened. She seems like the type that would understand that you did not do this with intent.

I do feel badly for you, the bird and Mariah. I believe she will get past it.

If this is an April Fool's joke than I've wasted valuable brain cells on this heartfelt reply. :(

parentingBYdummies said...

I'm hoping this is an April Fool's joke b/c if not then you probably are so dead. Although, this is my first time visiting your site so I'm gonna have to spend a good hour searching around it to determine how important this bird is and exactly how dead you are going to be as a result of its current, possibly make believe, situation. Awesome blog!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Sorry I'm not laughing at you but Sage and Mike and NiteBYrd...too funny!

This DOES seem a little April Foolsy...and I already got caught believing DadHouse...

But if its NOT a joke.

Run...cause she'll be pissed and women take a minute to get over stuff...especially something that eats out of her mouth...she seems kind of attached!

Teri said...

Maybe you can say...April Fool's??? :-)

ChocDrop said...

April Fool's is one way to think about it, but if this is really true.....
You could say it got caught in the ceiling fan......
Dude you are screwed when it comes to the kids and their pets.....

Lois said...

Cathy Brenner: Mitch, can I bring the lovebirds in here?
Lydia Brenner: No!
Cathy Brenner: But Mom, they're in a cage.
Lydia Brenner: They're birds, aren't they?

TentCamper said...

April Fools!!!!!!!!

Mariah said...

You are the biggest ass! When I first read this my heart sank until I realized it wasn't true becasue of the squaking from upstairs!! YES, it was April Fools, and I WILL get even

SweetPeaSurry said...

he he he ... you're a bad bad evil man sometimes!

glad all is birdy well though

blessings!

nitebyrd said...

Very funny. ;)

Youngblood4ever said...

I'm too gullible. I was believing you until the end. Hubby has a lot of fun with the fact that I will believe just about anything.

ed said...

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