Monday, September 15, 2008

Notes From The Planet EX

The following is a sampling of some of the recent emails that I’ve gotten from the EX.
I am convinced that she is COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL...what do you think?


We already know how it will go based on past experience and I know what is best for my boys who I am with everyday. I am the one that has to deal with them not getting up for school and being cranky the next AM.
I was hoping you would finally work with me but if I have to go to court to have visitation amended, I will since you are being unreasonable and unwilling to make a small change that is in the boys best interest. I'm sure the judge will agree as usual. .

But I guess I shouldn't expect cooperation from
people who let 11 year olds operate motor craft and don't call 911 when someone overdoses to protect them from CPS. I suppose its my obligation to report such issues and concerns too. Good thing I grabbed screen shots about the not calling 911 and fear of CPS before that was removed.

I owe my lawyer $20000 thanks to having to go to court with your unfit self, so I had to cut him loose. I can't afford his bills when I am raising the boys. But he will finish the work he was retained for and he referred me to another great but more affordable lawyer to take over from here.

Hi -

I know we agreed to 930a - 530p this Sunday but is there any way you can come earlier just this Sunday? You can still bring them back @ 530p but my plans got moved around a bit so it would make a huge difference if you could help me out by picking them up as early as possible.

I know you're probably not inclined to help me, but perhaps we can finally put all the craziness aside and this could be a first step in trying to help each other instead of working against each other? My friend, Kim, who you met at Jack's school has such a good relationship with he ex-husband (and his new wife) despite some very similar issues they went through, and I'd like for us all to get in a similar place someday and just put the past aside. I think I finally see that you have the boys' best interests at heart and wouldn't do anything to hurt/damage them, and I'd just like to move forward. All this drama is exhausting.

Let me know what you think.

I know you emailed Jim too.

And I'm sorry that it is sad for you, I really am, but these are people that are VERY ACTIVE -- as in almost daily -- in our lives. We go on vacations with Jim and his family, he's like an uncle to the boys and has become like my brother over the past few years. He has really been there for us. And you know already that Linda and I are very close.

I will leave it up to them but I just think its very hard. -- especially because these two men are so close to me.

I too am happy that we seem to be getting along better and I hope we can keep it that way, but Eric and Jim have been huge parts of my support system during the very bad times and I think that it will be very hard to maintain active friendships.

I really don't want you to think I'm being intentionally mean, territorial or anything. I also don't want to speak for them...I just wanted to relay that Jim and Eric and very important people in our lives and it will be very weird -- for all -- to try to reconstruct what you had with them before.

Jaden's camp counselor just told me that he said something about going to the beach with you and the waves had carried him far off to the side and he couldn't see you (? Not sure exactly what he means) and he couldn't see you. Apparently she asked who was with him and he said no one, that the adults weren't in the water.

I haven't talked to Jaden yet, but the boys have just learned how to swim literally this summer and don't go to the beach often, so I would feel much more comfortable if you could stay close to them if possible. We also know someone whose 6 year old just died a couple of months ago (drowned in a pool and his parents were literally right there...and he could swim -- it was because of it that I pit the boys in a 10 day intensive swim class) so I'm extra sensitive about it.

I know…he has been lying a lot about little things and it has been going on for some time. I address it with him and his therapist has been working on it. And, yes, he has a lot of anger and jealously about
Mariah and her kids that he hasn’t told me about but that does come up with his therapist. She has been working with him on it. But, I really don’t think he would steal anything…maybe intentionally hide it.

I also recently started seeing someone pretty seriously who he’s not happy about either. He has been acting out more again and we think it’s about that, even though he hasn’t met him yet but he knows of him. I was actually supposed to go away with him this weekend but cancelled my trip because Jaden was so unhappy / acting out. His behavior has been a problem and we’re working hard on it. I think it really is just a product of everything that has gone on…Jack was so young but Jaden had to deal with a lot.

Anyway, we’re working on it and I will let you know if I can find out anything about the iPod.

I’m still so pissed off about this. Jaden says he didn’t touch it and I believe him. YOU, as his FATHER, should believe him. He admitted to scribbling on Megan’s book. He told me about it too. He is angry and he is a CHILD. He acts out. The fact that you are accusing him of doing something to someone in your new family without being sensitive to the child that put up with so much trauma because of YOU and because of MARIAH and that you are sticking up for those kids and throwing yours under a bus is so sad.

I have been trying to take the high road lately and brush all the crap that has gone on, the crap that I read about that makes me want to keep my boys far away from you and Mariah, the crap that others tell me, the fact that you don’t support your own children and all you get $10,000 checks for doing nothing from Mariah’s family while I work my tail off to support the kids you also brought into this world… I have been trying to forget all that just to civil for the sake of Jaden and Jack.

But this really pushed me over the edge. That, combined with Mariah’s evil comments about MY CHILDREN.

Things were going well
...and then you and Mariah decided to accuse Jaden of something he didn’t do. And now posting half-truths about me on her blog. Why did I send you the emails I did? Because I am defending MY AMAZING SON that you and she judged.

Everything was FINE until you guys accused Jaden of stealing and then MARIAH posted about Jaden on Twitter. Even if it’s gone now, I saw it and grabbed a screenshot and it was WRONG.YOU and MARIAH are the ones that decided to get nasty – not with me, but with MY SON.

This isn’t about me – I don’t care WHAT you think about me. And, all of the friends you miss so much want nothing to do with you – they are still my friends…even “RM, the actor” – he didn’t get famous and fall out of the circle, he was also disgusted by you.

The reason I am mad is because you turned on your OWN SON and Mariah, who has NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT JADEN decided to get nasty about him.

And boy, was that a mistake because I am about to use every freaking bit of ammunition I have been holding back in court again. I will NOT have my boys around people like her who don’t treat them the way they should be treated. If my boyfriend treated the boys badly or said evil things about them, you wouldn’t be happy either. Of course, I would never be with someone like that.

In the morning.

I would have Mariah quit bad mouthing me on Twitter and talking about something she doesn’t know about. Isn’t it bad enough that your son hates you? Bad mouthing their mother isn’t going to help.

We have a conflict on 9/21 so unfortunately you will have to miss the visit that day.

Also - we will need to go back to court to discuss visitation in light of some serious issues that have been brought up - including that Jaden was injured at your home on his last visit because you allowed him and Jack to jump out of a window multiple times, my concerns about your drinking as well as the stability of the others in your household and their influence on Jaden and Jack.

You will receive notice of the court date via mail.



I can not deal with her BS anymore!


amelia bedelia said...

holy crap!! she is psycho!!!! she is the one that needs to be evaluated!

Stephanie said...

I see someone with a sincere, if severely misplaced, concern for her children. I think she is suffering from this divorce as, I'm sure, are you for various reasons, and she doesn't know how to cope.

That said, she's handling the situation totally wrong. She should never involve your boys and her lurking around your and IM's blogs is slightly whacko.

I have learned in my life that we will be continually surprised by people's true colors, and the people we marry aren't always who we thought they were.

I find it so sad that a woman who once loved you enough to marry you now has so much hatred and venom in her heart toward you that she would set out to destroy your relationship with your boys and others in your life.

I wish you nothing but the best; I hope you can get this situation resolved soon and with little additional trauma. Everyone involved has been through enough, and you both deserve to get on with your lives. I hope she realizes that she'll be much happier with her life if she stops trying to dismantle yours.

Good luck.

Swirl Girl said...

whoa -

was this all one email?

sorry about not being with your kids.

divorce is ugly and threatened adults are uglier.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

That woman has lost it and is grabbing at straws. Is everything an issue for her? She has WAY too much time on her hands. Life is too short. She needs to spend more time spending time with "your" children instead of reading your blogs. I bet closing her off from this side is KILLING HER!! This was a good move on your part!


- Jennifer

cIII said...

I've no Words other than 'I'm sorry'. I'm sorry that you and IM have to go through this. I'm sorry your children have to go through this.
Hold Fast brother. This storm will die down. They all do.
-peace to you and Yours.

T said...

I agree with Stephanie. As a mother, we tend to lose our minds anyway. It does sound like she honestly wants to have a healthy relationship with you and Mariah but can't seem to get past her own resentment.

You both sound very happy and she doesn't. She feels jealous and hurt and every now and again, reaches out but then.... she is obsessive about you both. Of course, then I understand it because she's trying to protect her children as any Mama Bear would do.

Still, I can't understand why she couldn't put her pride away and actually get to know you both better by actually spending time with you. I realize at this point it may be too late but... sheesh lady, all you're doing is pushing your kids' father further and further away.

Its too bad you guys can't work with a mediator or counselor for co-parenting.

Deb said...

how the hell do you get anything else done for having to read all her emails? crazy bitch!

Wendy said...

I may have never told you this, but Noah isn't my husband's natural child. Noah sees his Other dad every other weekend, though. Since I deal with him, maybe I can kind of see things from her point of view a little.

I agree with Stephanie and T. She's just trying to protect her kids, but is going about it the wrong way. She sounds really hurt and confused about it all. Having an angry child doesn't help. Also having one that tells stories can make it a lot worse. I know both of those things from experience. But I know to take some things he says with a grain of salt.

I don't know why she's reading y'alls twits and blogs. This isn't the place she should be getting her information. Maybe you could all sit down together and try to talk things out? The only thing is you all have to be able to put yourself in the other person's shoes. She may be the mother, but YOU are the father. Both roles are equally important.

Rhea said...

She's still way too hurt by your leaving to act rationally. That's obvious. And very jealous of Insane Mama.

jill jill bo bill said...

Indifference means you have gone on with your life and don't care what or who your ex is with. She apparently hasn't moved on. I don't give a shit what my ex says about me and I surely wouldn't follow him on twitter or read or respond to his blog. I despise my ex's wife but I truly don't give a shit what she says or does. She will hang herself. Don't give up fighting for your kids, They need to know you love them enough to fight for them. My 13 yr old told me it always made her feel like I loved her when I would have discussions about her. (They were fights)Be open and honest with your kids. Don't bad mouth their mom. do it here. hang in there.

sista #2 said...

If your kids have issues.....
they get them from her.


Brandy said...

I can see why it would be difficult to deal with her on a day to day basis. Her moods were all over the place.

You guys were married for a long time so she should know you have nothing but the best intentions for your sons. I think she's overreacting.

And I think she shares some of the anger and jealousy.


Teri said...

I know where you are coming from with the ex- issues. I have been officially divorced for over 8 years, but the weirdness never ends.

I think your almost-ex is jealous, angry, hurt, insecure, etc. Is there any way at all that you all could sit down without the kids anywere near and try to discuss some sane solutions? Yeah, I know, much easier said than done. I've tried so many times to calmly talk with my ex-, but he keeps interjecting stuff like, "you know it was YOU who was the drug addict," "I was the one who saved YOU from a life of drugs," "You are keeping the kids in a prison." Stuff like that. He keeps projecting his crazy bipolar crap back onto me. So I just don't talk to him.

I really hope this gets better for you all.

Lula! said...

Is this why you went private?


Sorry y'all are going through all this. And please, tell me WHY she is stalking y'all's blogs? (We all know she's the famous Anonymous over at Mariah's.)


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