Saturday, September 20, 2008

TentCampress And His Moon

I may have to see some sort of doctor…or scientists or something. Why you ask? Well, as most of you know, I live with Insane Mama and her 3 daughters and her son. The women in the house are 9, 11, 16 and, well, Insane Mama is in her 30’s.

I know that when women/girls who live together often start to ‘synchronize’ with their periods (or ‘moons’ as we call it here in the house of insanity.)

Now the reason that I may be in need of some sort of specialist is because I think that I may be….’synchronizing’. Right around the time that Insane Mama and 16 year old Amanda are entering into their spell of Pre Moon Syndrome (PMS), I start to crave ALL food, I get cranky, short tempered, I get cramps (from gas) and nothing that goes on in my life (for that week span) is ever right…or good enough.

I am scared! I say that cuz…what is next? I fear that I’ll wake up one morning lying in a pool of my own blood. Where will I bleed from? Shit that scares me!

With all of the others in the house…my irritability is irrational. It makes no sense. There is no logical reason for my MOODS and I have no way of explaining what is happening. I try to equate it with men’s sympathy pains during pregnancies…but that does not fly around here. When the two eldest females of the house are…irrational…I am the one who is supposed to be there to hold down the fort.

Now I don’t want any of you to feel bold enough to say something like, “maybe you are part woman and you actually GET PMS.” Or, “that maybe I am turning into a woman. That shit don’t fly on my blog!

Anyway…I don’t know if I need a doctor, a scientist/researcher or a freaking shrink.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

28 Comments:

Holy Crappers said...

You need to just relax and go with the "flow"

#1

Swirl Girl said...

If you beat 'em, join 'em!

might I suggest YOU smoke that bag of doobie that was flung onto your lawn?

Deb said...

Holy crappers said "go with the 'flow'" - Bwahaahaa!! That's funny...

there's only me and the hubby here and he gets his own version of PMS monthly also. We've been together for 24 years though, so at least it took him a little longer to get 'in sync' with me. Good luck over the coming years (lol).

Sam (The Edge Of Insanity) said...

Like swirl girl said... "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" I don't think you need to worry unless you start wearing make-up and waxing your bikini area.

sassy stephanie said...

Hey, be glad you didn't have to go through the pregnancies with her.

Do what my hubby does...just hide.

Stephanie said...

I don't think you have anything to worry about until you, at these "moon" times, have an urge to have a pajama party with your girls that involves chocolate, When Harry Met Sally, and pedicures. Should that day come, God be with you.

T said...

Ha ha!! You poor thing.

Perhaps you should just sit down with all of 'em and have a pint of chocolate ice cream. And a good cry.

Always works for me! :)

Rhea said...

Just don't get pregnant, Tent Camper!

Krista said...

This is quite disturbing, really. Could be worse...couldn't it?

sista #2 said...

You will just pee your pants if this happens. It could ya know....stranger things have been known to happen......


peace
#2

georgie said...

muhahahahaha BE AFFRAID be VERY affraid....if that doesnt work buy a box of maxi pads and snuggle them-then you can be one....

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hell....I'm a Virgo.....What do I know.

HAPPY MONDAY!
- Jennifer

The Mom said...

Just don't EVER say "I know how you feel!" You will never know....and I'm so jealous of that!

Teri said...

I...I...I...don't really have an answer. Sorry, I stretched my brain for something. Nada. It's okay to have sympathy PMS, yes?

Christy said...

At least it gives you an excuse to be grumpy for 1 week a month!

Lula! said...

You could always read Twilight and New MOON.

Don't kill me.

cIII said...

You could grab that Tent and head for the Hills. It's an excuse to Camp anyway.

amelia bedelia said...

My poor Dad had 4 girls plus my mom so FIVE women all having a period!!! He told us one time that he should have bought stock in Kotex Company.

Rhea said...

Yoohoo, Tent Campress! Where are you?!

Christy said...

Helloooo...where'd you go?

T said...

Helloooo? Anyone home?

Where'd ya go?

cIII said...

Dude? I didn't mean you should stay in the Hills forever. Where for art Thou?

Jennifer and Sandi said...

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE IN HERE????

Wake up!! Time to Blog!!!!

- Jennifer

Two Dogs Running said...

Where are you?

Teri said...

You still there????

Teri said...

Hey Tenter, Really missing your words! Maybe you could change your online name and let us know where you are. Hope you are doing okay.

sista #2 said...

where the freak did he go anyway?????

Rat bastard...left and didnt tell us!!!


peace
#2

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