Insanely Peeing In The Wind - Part 5

After leaving the …hospital, I was a wreck. I did not know what to do with myself. I thought of Insane Mama all the time and could not call her because my wife continually checked my cell phone log on the Internet (damn T-Mobile). I wrote to her (never mailed anything) to keep her close to me in my head.

A few days had gone by and I was loosing my mind. I went to T-Mobile and got a pre-paid cell phone chip – which was “untraceable” – that my wife knew nothing about. I then was able to text and call Insane Mama…affording me added pleasure, above and beyond spending time with my two young sons. I spent most of my time either with my sons, writing, doing errands, or texting Insane Mama. I did what I could to be away from my wife. I could see how things were playing out and I knew that we were headed for disaster. The few times that I tried to talk to my wife about my past, what had been going on and my feelings…most of the time I would get responses like, “why would you feel like that? You shouldn’t feel like that.” Or “It doesn’t help anything or any one for you to act all depressed.” That is where communication ceased.

I made a trip back out to the hospital that weekend for a support group meeting….that I knew Insane Mama would be at and as soon as I started driving out there…I began beaming with excitement and felt my whole body open up, as if to reclaim the life that had been drained from it. I basically broke every speed limit and ran several red lights all the way there…at least until I got to a nearby gourmet coffee shop, I knew that she could use a HUGE, rich, dark roast coffee. The coffee at the hospital was nothing more than murky hot water…and it was decaf.

After getting the coffee, I darted off and was there in no time. I pulled up to where the meeting was, parked and (heart pounding) pulled out my make believe sniper scope to find her. Then I saw her, breaking through the crowd of people, seemingly with no concern for anything but me…or the coffee that I was holding…who knows? We embraced. She swooped the coffee out of my hand and took a long slug, smiled and then gave me a big kiss. We talked for a bit as we took a short walk through a field, before the meeting. After the meeting was over, we promised each other that we get together in a few days, when she got out.

Sadness filled my soul as I left. The only thing holding me together was that I knew that we’d see each other in a few days. Or at least that’s what we had agreed upon. I noticed that since I had left the hospital, that there were several other guys vying for her attention. I tried to put all of that out of my head as I drove home…wanting only to remember her touch, her feel, her smell and the words that flowed from her mouth straight into my soul.

To Be Continued…..