Insanely Peeing In The Wind - Part 6

The day that Insane Mama left the hospital, I felt my level of anxiety rise to a level that I did not even know existed. I was actually scared. I feared that she would not call me. I was scared that we’d never get together…but most of all, I was scared that she wouldn’t like me …outside of that place. We spoke on the phone a few times and made plans to meet. The anxiety was killing me. All I could do was think about her. I don’t know that I’d be able to handle her drifting away. I could not let that happen.

The day of our first meeting arrived and I had no idea what to expect, or what to do once we met. But…I was going to see her again and that is what was important. I spent more time getting ready to meet her that day than I ever have.

Then she cancelled!!!!!! What the F? What is this all about? Now I really did not know what to think. Did she really just have some other things that HAD to be taken care of…or was this the first step in her starting to drift away? I did not want to push it too much or interrogate her…knowing that it would be about the same as chopping my own penis off. I had knots in my stomach and had an unrelenting urge to vomit….all day.

After a few more calls and texts, we set up another meeting. At this point I would have driven to Egypt to meet with her. Things were going very well between us on the phone and I knew that she had her hands full with her 4 children. At the same time, she empathized with me about my situation. I was glad that we had this extra time to talk as it really showed me that our relationship “outside” would not be one of those short-lived, physical “flings.” I was happy about the meaningful talks that we were able to have.

The morning of our, new, meeting was a bit different for me. I did not take more than 5 minutes getting ready. I think that was part of my problem the last time. Taking a long time getting ready and being all anxious thinking about it…made it worse when she cancelled. This time it was quick…and we did meet. We decided to meet for coffee at a shop in between our respective houses. I did, though, have a small bucket in the front seat… just in case I was going to blow chunks while driving. As I pulled into the coffee shop I did not see her. I picked up my bucket and set it in my lap while I parked. Just in case. I sat there in my car for a few minutes…I did not want to be that guy who goes in, orders two drinks, gets a table and then watches one of the drinks get cold while the staff makes humorous remarks about him. NO WAY! That guy is not me. Well….It could have been cuz that’s what I ended up doing. Well, all except the other one getting cold.

When she pulled into the lot I had the most intense urge to pee that I had ever had in my life. Then I had a flash of me going into the bathroom to pee, her looking around and not seeing me and then taking off, thinking that I stood her up. F NO!!!!! I got up with the coffees and walked outside. She was still parking so I set the coffees on a wall and waited there for her. As she walked up to me, I was about to say something lame like, “you look nice…or how are you…or Hi there.” My brain went into Rain Man mode. As I was fumbling for the right words, Insane Mama ended her bee line to me by grabbing me and planting her lips on mine with one of the most intense kisses that one could imagine. Our embrace and kiss seemed to last for about an hour (who know for sure?) I do know that we did catch the attention of some of the other patrons who seemed to enjoy watching us “make out.” The fireworks that were going on in my head were making their way through my heart and landing in my groin. Yes…dry humping, slow grinds are still “in.”

That meeting happened 3 years ago and about 2 months later I was out of my house and at the beginning of the “never ending divorce.” Insane Mama makes fun of me, to date, claiming that I’ll never be divorced…I beg to differ, but I can’t seem to secure any paperwork that says different. “Lord help me!!!!!!!!” The divorce has been granted in court….twice, but the final judgment that “her” attorney was ordered to prepare...twice…has never been done.

I will marry that Insane Love Bug of mine one day. I just hope that she sticks it out. She is the one!!!!!